Rambles

wow, 22 more weeks left in the year. Hopefully only 22 more weeks that I will be working 6 days a week. I never in a million years thought that I would have let this schedule go on for 5 solid years... it's ridiculous. But there have been some things that have had their hand in and forced me to continue.

I drove my Mom and step-Dad home today. He is very sore and in some pain from the triple by-pass that he had last Thursday. But, that's to be expected, right?! It's not everyday your chest gets cracked open. I'm just tired from the drive.. 80 miles each way... and to think that I drove it for 5 years! WOW!

Friday Feast #152

WOW, I can't believe it's Friday already!!!

Appetizer : On a Scale on 1 to 10 (with 10 being the highest) how much do you enjoy watching sports on television?

Depends on the sport, usually a 6 I can always find something else to do besides sitting 'round watching tv.

Soup: If you could completely memorize any one work of fiction, which on would you pick?

That's a toughy.. since we're so close to THE DAY - I'll say the Harry Potter novels.. there are some very good lines in there.

Salad: What is your favorite breakfast food?

Hubby's Chocolate Chip Waffles

Main Course: Name something fun you can do for less than $10.00

Sidewalk coloring is fun... was fun with my two year old.. I made "thank you" cards for her birthday presents..

Dessert: How long does it usually take you to fall asleep?

I don't sleep well, so when I get into bed it usually doesn't take very long... .say 15 minutes tops.. But I'm normally up til 1am

New Poll

I added my first poll to the page.. check it out - more to come!

Your Opinions, Please

Has anyone heard of http://www.sparkpeople.com/



Go check it out and tell me what you think... by the way it's free.

Family Matters

On Sunday I got a text message from my sister - "are you still at work", I replied "no', the response that came back was "call me" So, I did. Kim had gotten a call from someone that works with our mom, Debbie, and stepdad. Our stepdad, Bobby, had had a heartattack at 1230pm that day while at work. The way the story has been told and retold to me is After the first heart attack Mom took Bobby to the hospital in their town. While he was there he had three more heart attacks before 6:30pm. It was at that time that he was airlifted to my small city 80 miles away. Bobby's daughter brought Mom here and after a while left.
Since then of course has been a difficult week. I've not really spoken to my mother since I was 14, when I moved out.. just off and on... more of a mutual thing really. In any case, she doesn't have a cell phone, the same girl that brought Mom here ran her cell phone bill up to over $1,200 from calling, texting and downloading.. then proceeded to steal the bill out of the box so Mom wouldn't know. Anyway, I digress.... so she doesn't have a cell phone, left in such a hurry that she didn't get any clothes for herself, they live on very little means so she didn't have any money to eat here. I offered repeatedly for her to stay here or shower here or whatever... I took her to Wal-mart a few times whatever she wanted I bought. Gave her money just in case. and while she was at my house taking a shower I gave her clothes to wear. I just tried to do anything I thought would help her.
I've learned that Bobby has no medical insurance. I just can't understand how that's going to work... two hospital bills - two surgeries (one being a triple bypass) yadda, yadda, yadda.. Now he's partially disabled...
She's upstairs now.. just went up to bed. Monday she came here took a shower and asked to go back to stay there that night.. she was able to stay with him. They opened him up on Tuesday to look around... found 7 blockages. They started prep'ing him for surgery on Wednesday and then at some point found another blockage in his neck. So they pushed the surgery to today, Thursday.
His surgery went well. The blockages were corrected and he was in his room resting when we came here tonight. I stayed out of work today to go sit with mom and keep her company.. She did well too. She came back here tonight to rest, she wasn't allowed in his recovery room so hopefully a good night's sleep in an actual bed will do her good.

Wordless Wednesday #8

Yummy to my Tummy!

Nothing like a Sweet Treat!!

23 weeks....

Wow, they're drippin' along kinda fast now..

Today was kind of a good day at work, not much going on. Opened a few accounts. Took a couple of worthless loan applications.. worthless meaning didn't have a chance in hell of working... credit card applications too, never really know what are going to happen to those.

So, my ex just called - Punk told him and the new wife that he thinks I don't love him. That I love LuLu more. Of course they were in a bad area for cell phone service and I couldn't talk to him. But I'll talk to him later. I understand how he could think that... I'm constantly at her beck and call... and the only time we really sit down and talk is when I'm telling him how to stay out of trouble. Does that make me a bad mom? I hope not - 50% of the time he's with me, he's in school... 30% - he's with his friends - 15% he's asleep - the rest... isn't very much...

oh well

Foto Pherrets #80 - Sing

Punk is in the front in Yellow and Blue in 5th grade school choir.. He loves to Sing

Wordless Wednesday #7

My Littlest Helper

As you know I'm a mother. If you're a mother, or maybe even a father, you know that there is no way possible for you to have anytime alone. For example... let's say a quick, very needed trip to "the potty"..... Yea, if you're not a mom yet.. I beg you relish the time you spend in the bathroom! Go there now... I'll wait.....

Oh back so soon... were you followed? No... you lucky ass thang!
Okay so a couple of weeks ago I shacked up with the queen of all bummers... PMS. And of course my darling LuLu toddles into the bathroom with me. Minding her own business of course.. She had no idea what wonders were to come next. When I walked into the bathroom I grabbed a tampon from under my sink, sat down and started talking with her about her day.

Were you good a maw-maw & paw-paw's today? (not family, but conviently trained to be called it)
Yesh
Did you play with the babies?
Yesh
Did you have fun?
NO...Whas sat? (I'm not paying attention to her at the moment, I'm doing my business. She's walked over to me, is standing in front of me, looking betwen my legs, with her little forefinger pointing..)
What's what? ( I'm not going to try to make a big deal out of anything that happens in that area - the last thing I need is a teenage mother on my hands in 11 years or so.. give or take)
Whas sat? (I'll spare you the total details but let's just say she watched with amazement)
That's mommy's lily
Why?
Because mommy had to pee? (As I throw away the trash)
Whas sat?
Trash
Tra? (as she walks over to the trash can with her arm stretched out)
No, that's not for you. Trash is nasty. Please leave the trash in the can.
Na-ey?
Yes, nasty
Why?
Because that's mommy's tampon and you don't need to mess with it.
P-pon???
Yes mommy's P-pon.
Okay...
And that was that...

Now on the other hand EVERY time I go to this particular bathroom... she of course toddles along with me and offers me a P-pon. She's even handed me one a couple of times, Once she handed me one in an orange wrapper and when I told her No, I didn't need it and to please put it back. She did but got out one in a purple wrapper and said "Purpa P-pon?" Ah, my little helper... and so smart!!
She's such a big help, She's even offered her daddy a P-pon - HA!

24 weeks and counting...

So far so good.. I've been "giving the opportunity" to change seating arrangements. So, I'll be moving my belongings to another cube in the farm. My manager accepted another position a few weeks ago and is transitioning to that position. Meanwhile, my team has no manager but half the team has put in a request to move to a different floor of the building to do the same job.. others have decided to move to this floor and four of my teammates have applied to be the manager of this team.

There is one piece of further disturbing news, one of the people (if I can call him a person) that has applied for the manager position is known by most women, including myself, for sexual harrassment. So, needless to say I will not be happy if/when he gets the job.

There's A Change A Comin'

Ten years ago you were hired to do a job.. say it's oh, I don't know working in a cube farm for a bank open checking accounts, doing loans and selling various other products. 40 hours a week - "bankers hours" as they say.... low and behold the need for you to make the almighty dollar forces you to begin to work six days a week. (24 weeks to go ;-) bitheway)

Now, Suddenly the bank also needs to bring in more of said almighty dollar - So... guess what they want you to do. "We're going to start out bound calling after business hours" Basically they want me to now be a telemarketer. Please, oh Please won't you bring your money to MY BANK.. or if you already bank here WHY NOT BRING MORE MONEY HERE?????

okay I understand - I'm no dolt.. but come on?! I work six days a week now.. From 5pm to 6am, roughly, I am the only one with my children. I do not have access to a sitter for me and Hubby to go to the damn movies let alone for me to work til 8pm. UGH!

Friday Feast - Waitress Filling in for Chef...

Friday Feast -

Appetizer - Name a favorite place to visit in the Summer. Busch Gardens Williamsburg is always fun. Haven't been in a few years though.

Soup - Name one of your favorite blogs to visit. http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/

Salad - What has been your longest relationship? my longest marriage was with my ex (so far) 8 years. my longest working relationship is with my current job - I've been there 10 years.

Main Course - You just won the lottery!! Congrats, Now what?! We daydream about this a bit... Get a lump sum payout... pay off the house.. invest, invest, invest, and I would try to get one of my business ideas off the ground..

Dessert - Describe the best vacation you've been on. May not seem like much (before my current husband I never really had a vacation) But my best so far would be five years ago.. (GAWD! has it been that long?!) Hubby, was soon-to-be-Hubby then, and I went to Charlotte Motor Speedway for the Coca Cola 600 (I'm a fan by marriage) was cool to see it in person - I would rather sleep than watch it on tv... anyway I digress... we spent the weekend camping there at the track then loaded up and I took him to see the Braves play in Atlanta for an early birthday present. The weekend was full of just us being us..... It was great! On a do it again scale it would get a Hell Yea!

Thursday Thirteen #4

Thirteen More Things About Me

1. I am 5' 6"


2. My hair is naturally dark brown & stick straight, although grey is creeping in


3. I have hazel eyes, that are normally covered with contacts


4. My ears have been pierced twice


5. I'm a jeans and tee-shirt kind of girl


6. I don't like to sit still very much - I have to keep busy all the time


7. I have three sisters and no brothers


8. My parents divorced, mom got remarried - dad didn't


9. I'm allergic to my dogs


10. I love music


11. My English teacher in high school described me as boisterous - no one in the class believed her (her daughter was my best friend so she knew better than them)


12. I'm a do it yourself'er


13. I go to the gym four to five times a week

woo hoo!!! nice to have you all here... feel free to browse around please leave a comment - and for heavens sake ----- come back again!!

Foto Pherrets #78 - Time (make up posting)

Foto Pherrets #79 - Flag

Wordless Wednesday #6

I know this is Wordless Wednesday, but this pic needs a little explaining... It was taken at a Pig Roast two years ago.. My dad (in the blue) and Hubby (in white) were asked to roast the main course. We were there all day and most of the night. After the food and fun the people that organized it put on one heck of a fireworks display. It was great! I wish I had been able to video it.

Tina's Tuesdays

1. When did you start blogging? A few months ago
2. What did you blog about? Did you enjoy it? Family life here in puppet theatre. Yes, I enjoyed it. I like to blog and read about other families. I feel so alone sometimes but not to much when I can "connect" with other families.
3. List all of your current active blogs that you update regularly. Fingerprints on My Walls is the only one that I update regularly. I started another one but it is basicly were I can put my rants and raves without cluttering up my happy blog.

Ants, Everywhere

My kitchen is being taken over at the moment by ants...

UGH.. I hate the little things... I have the hardest time with them. I freak completely out. I feel them crawling all over me. When I close my eyes, I see them running. UGH!!! shiver!!

Hubby had to sleep today because he had to work tonight, I had to stay home because the sitter wanted today and tomorrow off, So while he was asleep I put out some bait for the little creatons and waited. The guy at Lowes said "You'll have to go out to eat for a week and just let 'em have your kitchen" "It'll look like a party in there but this is the best stuff on the market. I've used it in my homes."
When I first put it out, I was doubtful. Bi the time an hour had gone by there were ants all over that little piece of cardboard. I fixed supper and it was nearly done when Hubby woke up for work. I was so freaked out. I tried not to look in the direction of the ants (just above my kitchen sink in the window there) but I couldn't help it. He saw how much I was freaked and kept telling me how proud he was of me.

Friday Feast #150

Appetizer How many pieces of jewelry do you wear most days? Four actual pieces - My wedding band, ingagement ring, earrings, and an

Amyethist necklace. I also wear to rubbber bracelets, a "livestrong" yellow bracelet and a purple "I'm Flying" bracelet
Soup What is your favorite instrumental song? It's more like an album than a song - I like Joe Satriani, Flying in a Blue Dream
Salad Who has a last name that you like? That's a difficult question....and I have no idea how to answer it.
Main Course Name a popular movie you’ve never seen. I have a two year old daughter and a sitter that only works during the week. What's a movie???
Dessert Fill in the blank:

Nothing makes me hopeful like lottery numbers.

Wordless Wednesday #5

Great News!!!

Hubby posted for a new job.. It's a different schedule - so we hope to have more time together (at least on the weekend) and mandatory overtime is always good for the checkbook.

Tina's Tuesdays

1. What are some of your hobbies? I like crafting and interior design
2. Is there another hobby you wish you had? I'm interested in jewelry making - there's a bead store in the market that
I've stopped into
3. Are you a collector? If so, what do you collect? (ex: stamps, coins, postcards, etc.) I collect Willow Tree Angels and ticket stubs to events that the family has gone to

Rambles

Nothing much going on today... You know how it is when the little one is sick all weekend, you've spent all the time that you remember catering to the desires of someone who can neither tell you what they want nor wants what you offer and now they are better but not enough to play in the next room.

I went to the house of a neighborhood friend who lost her mother a couple of weeks ago. They came from overseas and in their religion, I'm told, you are buried before the sunsets on the day that you die. Talk about quick... She got to spend about a month with her family and her mother before she went home. At any rate she was having friends and family over for a sort of memorial for her mother. It was nice. I didn't stay long, probably should have.

Last night I ordered the trailer hitch for my SUV. And got an email today that it was shipped. I had it shipped ground because the charge was only $.99 cents. I can't wait til it gets here. I'm gonna do my level best to have it put on the weekend that it gets here... I may even take the next day off just to drive it to my dad and have him put it on. I wanna get the camper out as soon as possible.

I took LuLu to the mall today. She is such a girlie girl. She has little habits built in already. When she gets out of the bath.. she likes to have lotion put on and her ears cleaned. She wants to brush her teeth and fix her hair. When she sees me putting makeup on she says "eye, mommy". I rub a empty eye brush across her eyelids and she runs to show daddy how pretty she is.. batting her eyes saying "pitty, daddy" So, today I decided that since we really hadn't gotten her anything for her birthday I would take her to the mall and buy her some lotion in tiny little bottles. When we got there I also to her to Claire's and she picked out two beaded necklaces that came with bracelets. She looked so cute carrying her little bag of jewelry to the next store. Walking with her little "this is my world" stomp.

This month's goals at work were far from being met. But I'm well on my way to next month's goals. I'm only hoping that I'll be able to work there for long enough to get a position that doesn't require "luck of the call"

I'm looking for a new template to switch to.. I like the picture that I use on top but I'd lile to have it skinnier or just change all together... I've looked around but I keep looking.

Welcome to week 26

A short post for anyone following along. Today began week 26 of my countdown.

I have taken on a change in my roll at work. I was working internet requests - which for lack of a better term was always near a complete waste of time. I've gone back to full on phone requests, of course there are always out bound calls to be done but they are always with clients that know me.

LuLu had a temperature this weekend - some sort of viral thing that I've been told is running around at daycares (how lucky are we?) She's some better now but was startled from sound sleep by huge claps of thunder. Sometimes its like sleeping in the Adams Family house - all of a sudden something starts screaming...

good night - happy week

Friday Feast #149

Appetizer Name a funny habit you have. I drink lots of water - out of bottles or glasses but I always have several cups in our bedroom that I bring down to the kitchen on Saturday.
Soup If you could instantly know how to play a musical instrument, which one would you pick? Guitar

Salad How long is your hair? About four inches past my shoulders & all one length

Main Course When was the last time you forgave someone, and who was it? Not that he knows it but I had reason to be upset with my husband yesterdsy & forgave him.

Dessert What is your favorite kitchen appliance? I love my double oven!!

Paint Shop

I messed around with Paint Shop last night- Look what I did

The color of her eyes is the same color it was in the color picture that I took I just "cloned" the color!

Foto Pherrets #77 - Summer

This weeks theme is: Summer
I took the liberty to share with you something that reminds me of summer.
My daughter, LuLu, was born the first day of summer two years ago.
This is one of her first "icky" pictures when she was still "fresh"

I still cry when I see her.. in that picture - UGH! She was so little and .... WEEP!!
And this is a picture of my sweet little girl now..

Wordless Wednesday #4

Treasure Hunt #1

So, while Punk is away at his Dad's I've decided to go through his room for trash. I found this today in one hour:

1. Seven pair of underwear stuffed under two bookcases and on shelves behind school papers from 9/06 - 2/07
2. a BOX OF CHICKEN NUGGETS - yes I'm serious
3. two bags of scrap paper
4. 250 appx. assorted Yu Gi Oh, Pokemon, etc playing cards (just scattered around)
5. a small gift bag full of broken crayons and pencils that had been sharpened to the width of his hand or less.
6. 5 socks with no match
7. 6 notebooks completely full of only answers to last years schoolwork - no way to study for anything using it

Did You know??

I took yesterday off from work. Party because I'm sick to death of being there six days a week and partly because I wanted to spend some time with the family.
I've also been slacking on my blog becaue last week Hubby was on vacation and let's face it... there are simply more important things to do with my man around. =) At any rate, He's back at work again and I'm back online blowing off steam.

For those of you who may not read my page alot or at all - let me catch you up. Punk is spending the SUMMER at his dad's house - 80 miles away from the confusion and hardship that is a preteen's life with chores. Or at least chores from me. He seems to do well if his dad or my hubby gives him chores but me - yea... whatever!?!
Today I get a phonecall from Ex. "So, Punk told that you drink when you drive." My gut reaction - Are you f**king kidding me?? The only damn thing I drink is water! - Unless I'm already at a party... drink when I drive I wanna talk to him...
There should be an olympic event for lying. My son would take the gold and lie about it. Needless to say It was probably the "I've got you now, you bitch" in his voice that pissed me off as much as the lie that Punk told in the first place. His tone was just so..."prove me wrong"
I spoke with Punk... He kept trying to invent the one time that he said that I had drank on the way home. Unsuccessfully, but he tried. 'You did on the way home from the store? No I didn't. You did on the way to Uncle B's graduation? No, I didn't. You did on the way back then? No I didn't. Then what were you drinking that was blue? The label on my water was blue. I told him that he needed to tell his dad the truth and that he owed me an apology. Finally he did apolgize but I can't for the life of me understand why he would say such a thing.

Manic Monday #2

Do you listen to music regularly? What's your favorite way to listen -- radio, CD, Ipod?
I'm a music junkie. My favorite would be my XM radio.
When listening to music do you tend to focus more on the lyrics or the melody?
The Lyrics
If you had to pick a theme song to sum up your life right now, what woud it be?
I'll stand by you.

Unconscious Mutterings #2

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Riding:: Horses
2. Actress:: Beautiful
3. Flowers:: Lillies
4. Making:: Memories
5. Robot:: Help
6. Enjoy:: Smile
7. Identify:: Claim
8. 22:: Young
9. Busy:: Work
10. Forward:: Fast

Sunday's 7 #2

This week's Question: Name seven TV shows you're ready to see the new episodes of:

1. The New Adventures of Old Christine
2. 'Til Death
3. The Closer
4. Heros
5. Amazing Race
6. NCIS
7. any CSI (I'm a CSI junkie)

Thursday Thirteen #3

Thirteen Different Hats I Wear:

1. Daughter
2. Grand Daughter
3. Neice
4. Cousin
5. Sister
6. Wife
7. Daughter-in-Law
8. Ex-Wife
9. Mother
10. Aunt
11. Friend
12. Neighbor
13. Employee
    
    I have a couple more but... we'll leave it at that... How many hats do you wear?

Foto Pherrets #76 - Sky

It could be said that our topic is over everyone's head.... Our work for this week is: SKY

This photo was taken while we were going through a corn maize near our town. It was a very chilly October night. But the moon was beautiful.

Todays "You Suck" Meeting

Don't you just love a good 'chewing out". I know I do. especially when I can look around at the other people in the room and see irony dripping from everyones gaping mouths. What do you mean it's "our fault"? What do you mean we have to find a way to meet the goals?

We have a meeting on my team at work every Wednesday. Today we had a guy that works as a credit consultant come in. Told us in no uncertain terms that we have to step it up. Meet these goals or else. They keep trying to blame us for mistakes that the company overall has made rather than making exceptions for people and being understanding. The company itself has changed the way that each individual sales person does business.

It's kinda like working in a salon for years.. you build up a clientle you have people that know you, they know your schedule, etc. The suddenly the salon owner decides to move your station from where you've sat for 5 years to a station in another section of the building. Now the walkins that knew you can't see you so they use whomever they see first. And your normal clientle thinks if he can't reach you the first time that you don't want his business and takes it somewhere else.

Meanwhile, We don't want to hear excuses. We want to know what you WILL do.

I have booked a certain amount of loans this month - not nearly enough - and was told in a monthly meeting with my manager that I need to bring in $xxx,xxx more in loans before the end of the month or people are going to be put on inital warning. Geesh! I'm sick of it. So, today I told my manager that I'm no longer going to do the requests that were coming in from the internet (it was a wild goose chase 95% of the time anyway). I'm gonna buckle down. Not that I wasn't buckled down but I'm going to do whatever they tell me and keep track of it. I'm going to show them that I'm doing everything they say should work

28 weeks part 2

I called to check on the job posting I mentioned yesterday - Gone!
Somehow they've already filled it.. There's another out there but I won't be applying for it. The hours are never the same -
You have to be available anywhere between 8 am and 8 pm. I just can't do anything like that with the kids and Hubby's schedule.

Must be a sign... (smile)

Wordless Wednesday #3

Ten On Tuesday #1

Time to Brag: 10 Awesome Things About Me

1. I love to laugh
2. I met Matt Damon & George Clooney at a premiere for Ocean's 11
3. I try to keep everyone happy
4. I love music and to sing along with the radio
5. I have two children I love dearly - and am thinking about another
6. I have been working/supporting myself since I was 14 years old
7. I have one tattoo - but want more
8. I have blog induced insomnia
9. I help carry on a family tradition by making christmas ornaments
10. I just had a 10 year anniversary - at work!

Summer Already?!

Today was Punk's last baseball game. His last day here with us too. At least for the summer. He's off to his dad's house for a summer of no rules, no accountability, no responsibility. UGH! I miss him already.
The team won their last minor league game - 20 to 5. He scored this time. He'd been walked the majority of the season. Hubby pointed out that at least he wasn't striking out at every at bat. I agreed, but I would still have liked for him to have felt the thrill of knocking the ball into the field a few times.
Two weeks ago I made a small list of things for him to do (on a write on wipe off board) before he left for the summer. Yesterday he still hadn't begun it. His dad came down to the game and to pick him up for the summer. Punk had packed a small suitcase and a bookbag.. turned out that the suitcase had mostly games in it. After the game we had to come back to the house and Punk and his dad went into his room to find other things to take to his dad's house. He hugged me tight before he left, at the direction of his dad. I almost cried. I dread the type of child I'll get back after a summer of COMPLETE FREEDOM FROM RULES!!
I went into his room looking for Antibiotic stuff to put on LuLu's knee because she fell. In his desk drawers I found two boxe of broken crayons that he hadn't thrown away (something from the list) and in his closet an open bag of Ruffles potato chips.
I'm going to devote some of my time this summer to throwing away some things that should have already been thrown away. I may put up a list of the strangest things I found in my 10 year olds room.
I'm going to try to get some things done this year.

28 weeks to go!

It's that time again ladies and gentlemen!! For any of you who are watching as I try to get out of this schedule.

I normally don't look at job postings within the building. Last week there was a rumor that a number of people are leaving the same position that I have. I started wondering if there was anything out there for me. I looked first inside the bank I still haven't really looked outside the bank yet. There was one job open in a department that a friend of mine works in. So, I sent her an email to make sure. (Keeping in mind of course that I'm counting down the weeks til the end of the year) Her response?

"Yep, that's what I do, same position. I didn't realize they had posted for another position."
"I'd take advantage of the opportunity now if I was you. It was the best move I ever made. We were supprised they posted for another job down here. There is no where near the stress here, it's easy to get time off too. Let me know if you decide to post, I'll put in a good word for you. I helped get another person hired here a few mths ago. She absolutely loves it!"

Intriguing, Yes!!! I would love to work 5 days a week
Do I think that I should change now... Um,... I really don't know - I think that would be wishful thinking.

Meanwhile I'm using a bankrate.com calculator to see how soon I can pay off some debt that I shouldn't even have in the first place. - needless to say... It doesn't look good.

Mommy Goddess

Hubby went to baseball with us today. When we got there I noticed we were sitting on the "other team's side" not a biggie but a wierd thing to do. At any rate, there was a mom there. She was undoubtly there watching her son. But then she had a little girl go to her and a set of girl twins also... Four.
I'm not sure that I've mentioned it before but my husband has the power to read my mind. NO, Really He DOES. I started thinking..."FOUR kids"... "holy crap!" "She's suprisingly put together!" "How in God's name does she do that?" "What does she drive? I bet its some sort of freaking cargo van or something!" "I should go ask her what it's like" My husband noticed I was looking at her/them and said "Why don't you go ask her how she does it? Tell her you're thinking of having another but you're scared." Well, Why didn't I?? I dunno. Thought of it, YES! Ready to do it, Not quite.
After a little back and forth between Hubby and me - - - "She's got all of her hair!" "Yes, honey she does" etc. I worked the nerve up to go talk to her... not really the nerve but just what was I going to say to this "Mommy Goddess" ?? Just as I stood to walk over two boys walked over to her and one said "Mom.... (after that I didn't hear anything but the sound of my jaw pop as my chin fell)" so, I'm counting... cause I lost count...

1. son playing ball (I think) probably 10 or 11 yo
2. daughter, maybe 4 or 5
3. twin A, 3
4. twin B, 3
5. .... another Boy, maybe 11 or 12
6. .... another Boy, maybe 10 or 11

I think my mouth was still opened as I put my foot back in place on the ground and turned to look at my husband in disbelief. WHAT THE??? SIX - is that SIX kids she's got.... He laughed.

More back and forth.... "Are they hers?" .... "They could be"..."Maybe some of them are foster kids?"... "Maybe" ... "Maybe one of these boys and the boy playing ball is another set of twins?" .... "Maybe"..... "What do they drive a cargo van or something?" "Honey, Be nice." ..... "What does He do, Does she work?" "She probably can't" "Go talk to her"

Finally 10 minutes later.. I go over... ask her questions... how many are hers?... "only 5" (ONLY 5... my mouth is still hanging open in my mind) How do you do that? "I'm very laid back." (to pop out 5 kids you must be laid back) I've got two and I'd like to have another.. but I'm scared to death. "The jump from 1 to 2 is the biggest.. I think the more you have the easier it gets" (Did she just say that)... She seemed nice, calm. Like my hubby only a woman. Hubby is a very laid back, everything will be fine kind of guy. I wish I was more like that... maybe that's why we found each other.

I can't help but to wonder - should I have another? or two more?... I'm young. well, sort of. I'm not getting any younger that's for sure.

After talking with the "Mommy Goddess" today I wondered. Punk is almost 11. LuLu is almost 2. They are from different marriages. Does that mean they are two first kids. You know how they label you with your birth order.. Yet another label ... as if there aren't enough. But since they are from two different dads does that mean that I really haven't had a 2nd child yet. Punk has his own personality and isn't very interested in helping me with LuLu .. but if I have another child soon... she would have the benefit (if you can call it a benefit) of being a older sister...

Comments, Questions, Ideas, Remarks??? Mommy's ...I'm listening!

Friday Feast #147

Appetizer - What do you consider the Ultimate Snack Food? I think it almost depends on where you are... like at a hockey game I want nachos. I guess I would have to say.. Kettle Corn. It's delicious and if I had access to it I would have it anytime I wanted a quick snack.

Soup - On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), about how popular is your last name? -25

Salad - Who is your all-time favorite sitcom character, and why? Kramer from Seinfeld - because that character is so freakin' cool, Kramer was always in his own element. For that matter, on his own planet! haha!

Main Course - Do you shop online? If so, name some sites you like to browse for goodies. Yes, I shop online one of the places that I shop is chefscatalog.com I also get stocking stuffers at perpetualkid.com

Dessert - Fill in the blank: I think______should be_______. (wow, I didn't realize I would have so many for this one til I started to type it) Let's go with. I think the next few years should be interesting.

Thursday Thirteen #2

Thirteen Jobs I’ve had:

1. Dishwasher @ a small town resturant
2. Clerk @ McDonald's
3. Shoeshine person @ a Travel Plaza ( the $$ in that is crazy)
4. Assistant Manager @ a theatre
5. Security Guard
6. Clerk @ a Travel Plaza
7. Waitress @ a seafood restaurant
8. Clerk @ a concession stand at a race track
9. Ticket clerk @ a Theatre
10. Clerk & Food Prep @ a Taco Bell
11. Customer Service Rep @ a Bank
12. Loan Rep @ a Bank
13. MOM

Wordless Wednesday #2

Foto Pherrets #75 - Drink

My son is always saying 'They grow up so fast' when someone comments on how much his sister has grown. Truth is they truly do. He is graduating from 5th grade today.
so, today for my first Foto Pherret... the word is 'Drink'

My daughter, Olivia, at 5 months old. Drinking Mama's milk, even while mama is at work. Thank heaven for breast pumps!!

Mundane Monday #1

10 Changes In My Life

1. I wouldn't have gotten married at 19
2. I would have continued in college
3. I would have insisted on playing sports in school
4. I would have been closer to my mother
5. I wouldn't have gotten a job at 14
6. I would've waited til at least 26 to have my first child
(instead of 20)
7. I would've gotten a second job when my husband was out of
work two years ago.
8. If there was a way to also know then what I know now... I would've
married my 2nd husband instead of my first.
9. Carrying on with the same "known then" concept.. I wouldn't have dated
a couple of the guys that I dated.
10. I would've kept in touch with childhood friends

Manic Monday #1

Manic Monday for June 4,2007

1. How do you learn best? Watch and learn? Participation? Reading directions or technical manuals?

I learn better by participating.

2. Is one of your senses more highly developed than another? If so, which one?

Not that I'm aware of

3. Summer is almost upon us, What says summer to you?

Longer days, The end of my kids' school, Trees full of green leaves, and bonfire partys at our friends house

Punk has a GirlFriend!!

Today was the fifth grade picnic at my son's school. Two more days a school is over. One of those days is a graduation that the fifth grade is having and it will last only half of the day.
At any rate I found out today that Punk has a girlfriend!! And she is just adorable! I took the camera to try to get some pics of Punk and his friends. He wound up taking pictures of his girlfriend! Wow!!! can i just say that again

A Girlfriend!!

Yes I know summer's coming and he'll be 80 miles away spending the summer at his dad's but maybe it'll last through the summer.



You've just gotta see how cute she is... don't tell him I showed you.. LOL!

Sunday's 7 #1

Seven things I fear most:

1. My Children Growing up to Hate Me.
2. Not being "there" for my kids
3. Being Alone
4. Bankruptcy/Homelessness
5. Ants
6. another Divorce
7. Being lied to by the people I trust most.

Sunday's Unconsicous Mutterings #1

1. Savage :: native
   
2. Warrior :: fight
   
3. Daisy :: Fuentes
   
4. Schedule :: Strict
   
5. Rock, paper, scissors :: game
   
6. Medical :: Doctor
   
7. Jade :: green
   
8. Elevator :: up
   
9. Drain :: water
   
10. Goldfish :: crackers
    

29 weeks...

It's just 29 weeks to go. Til (hopefully) I can stop working six freakin' days a week. I'm tired of it. Five years is too long to do this. I rant & rave and piss & moan but I keep doing it..
Truth of the matter is I started doing this because it allowed me to help Punk with his homework. He was horrible about needing to be "retaught" everyday after school; it would take til 10pm every night to get the simplest things done. Until his teachers finally agreed to have him tested. Turns out he's ADHD and probably several other acronyms that I haven't discovered yet. We've finally gotten him on a medication that helps to calm and focus him. In fact he's so calm and focused that he's been a A/B honor roll student this year all but one grading period.
When I seperated from his dad, I was given a solemn promise that I would never receive a dime of child support. And to this day I haven't. Suffice to say that if I call and say "Punk needs *insert item here*" the money is in my account by at least the end of the week. But with Ex it's always that little bit of control that keeps happy. Being that I couldn't afford daycare I decided to just work a unique schedule that would allow me to be home when Punk needed me most. It worked.
So every Sunday I go into to work with the expectation that I'm going to have a good day. And every Sunday about 3 hours into my day it happens - my fourth "I know you can't help this guy but can you ..... " or " I have a lady on the phone whose negative $39 in her checking account but she wants to apply for a credit card for overdraft protection." or even worse they've told this client that they should put a credit line on their home and use it for overdraft protection. I am just sick of it. My sales goals keep going up and my pay keeps going down. And if that isn't enough, I'm doing applications off our internet site for everything under the sun. Now that isn't the bad part... the bad part is that people actually go to our website (the company that I work for will forever remain nameless) and apply for "you name it". The application or request downloads to me and I spend the next godknowshowlong trying to call, email, write and send smoke signals back to the client to make sure said request is complete to their preference. I don't get paid for goose chases but I sure as hell run about a dozen of them a freakin' day.
So, now I'm waiting patiently - or at least as patiently as I get - until the end of the year. Then if all the stars are aligned and a pink poodle with a blue collar barks under the moonlight on a beach in the south of Ohio I just might be able to start working only 5 days a week. I only hope that the shock of working eight hour days instead of six hour days won't piss me off to the point that I just keep working six days... I've got to admit the whole eight hour day thing is a little daunting after five years of six hour days.

It's Saturday... Time for:

Fill in the blank.


The next person to ring my doorbell had better ____________.
not be trying to convert me.

Friday Feast #146

Appetizer
Name something you think is “the best.” : My husband's French Fries. I bought him a deep fryer for Christmas - Man! His fries are ... well THE BEST!!!

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 highest), how stressed are you today? About a 4

Salad
What kind of cleanser do you use to wash your face? Cetaphil

Main Course
Tonight is a blue moon! What is something that you believe only happens “once in a blue moon.” A day that my son and I get along.. We are so much alike and yet... not.

Dessert
When was the last time it rained where you live? The last time it rained here was May 26th.

Thursday Thirteen #1

Thirteen Things about Me
1. I love the outdoors… biking, camping, hiking,... you name it!
2. I love to cook, especially since I have a double oven!!
3. I am into crafting – I make Christmas ornaments to carry on a family tradition
4. I love to spending time with my family
5. I work six days a week for a bank in the sales department
6. I have a few business ideas, but I have no idea what to do with them
7. I am very open minded
8. I am one of those “everything has a place” people
9. I am scared to death of ….. ants
10. I am the first of four daughters
11. I’ve been married twice and have one child from each marriage
12. I enjoy decorating
13. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been

Wordless Wednesday #1

Back to Work

Tomorrow will be my first day back to work since last Friday. I had planned this long weekend last October when we have to turn in out "time off" requests at work. Needless to say, when I planned it I had no idea I would take the entire four days off. Unusual for me to be off four days in a row.

I've tried to spend a little time on my blog since I set it up. I've added what I can at this point... Still seems a bit naked though.. I'm going to be making a picture for my heading - I have it planned out it my head I just need to put it in motion.
LuLu had a nice couple of days with us... The sitter should have an interesting day tomorrow. She loves it when we are all together. She's been having an issue sleeping in her own bed recently. I blame it on me going to the gym. But I haven't stopped. She has always been very good about sleeping by herself. The only time we had had her with us was when she was sick. But I tried to put her down one night in her crib about a month or so ago, she wouldn't hear of it. She was asleep when I tried to lay her down and her eyes popped wide when she touched the sheets. I tried then to sleep in the floor near her bed... no luck. That went on for about two weeks.. I finally started putting her on the fold out toddler couch that she got for Christmas. This picture was taken with the "night vision" lens on my camera. Now she sleeps in the living room on her couch til I get ready to go to bed. Then I take her and her couch to her room. Then somewhere between 2am and 5am she comes to our room and gets in bed with me. It upset me at first. That I didn't know how to fix it. Couldn't get her comfortable again. Like I had so many times before. But then I realized something that totally helped me. She's going to be this age... ONE TIME. I could care less if she sleeps with me - I almost want her to sleep with me. In 10 years, she'll probably think I'm the dumbest woman on the face of the earth...and if I'm lucky it won't be any worse than that.



Punk is going to be 11 in August. As far as I'm concerned I'm watching his dad grow up before my eyes. Which is odd to say the least. He used to tell me how he was as a child, when we were married. I thought that it was like everything else he said - completely for attention or some sort of reaction. I try everything for Punk. I've tried reason, explanation, consequence.. nothing gets through... He doesn't understand plain english. And I say that with every bit of love that a mother could have for her first born son. I love him with my whole heart. Let me try to explain... just a bit. Punk has, among probably other things, ADHD. He is on medication for it. Which makes him a completely different person; In a Good Way! You can be in conversation with him... and he'll start going off on some tangent about something completely different - but in his head it's the same. If you say to him "It's raining cats and dogs" he will go to the window expecting to see them falling from the sky. And then give you a lecture on lying. But turn around and lie about something he did that was wrong.
I hope that one day that he will understand that I'm doing the best that I can for him. I admit, I get frustrated with him to quickly, or sometimes I think it's more with myself. I don't know which. I get upset with myself because if know one else understands him or can get through at least his own mother should, right?! I try to say things to him that I think he would understand, but he doesn't. I often wonder if he doesn't or can't or just doesn't want to understand. He is nearing puberty and I fear that every time we have a little fight he is getting further and further away from me. From trusting me.
He asked me on Sunday, "What is your worst fear?" Knowing that we had already discussed that his was death. And how I've explained to him that everyone at some point is scared of death or dying. But that it can't be stopped and shouldn't be something he fears. I told him, "My worst fear is you and LuLu growing up and hating me." I could live with just about anything else but being hated by my own children, it would destroy me.
He'll be going to his dad's for the summer soon. I would rather he stay with me and go to school year round than have a huge break in his learning. But this agreement was one that the ex and I made during our divorce. I have Punk during the school year minus every other weekend and He has Punk during the summer minus every other weekend. Holidays and Vacations are of course an exception. It works for the most part except every time Marcus comes home he hasn't been taking his medication and is just a little more rebellious. Something that I think his dad encourages. I've been told too many times that "one day he's probably gonna want to live with me". And I'm sure that it will happen - I don't need to be reminded of it. But I'm quite sure that it is just a little far from happening, because my dear ex enjoys being able to do what he wants, whenever he wants. Not to mention, he loves money. Sure he'll slip Punk the occasional $20 on their way to meet me. And yes, He completely paid off Punk's braces without a second thought - a total of over $5,300. But does he "support" Marcus. Nope. So, bitter though I may be but my husband and I pay for every daily expense that Punk has or needs. You name it.

Well, that's my mindless chatter for the day..

Today, Sunday, is ususally one of the six days I work. But I took the day off to have a long weekend with the family. 30 weeks to go, then I hope to be at least working 5 days a week instead of six. I'm tired of being a "part-time mom".
That's actually a phrase that has many emotions for me. Not to mention too much truth. I can say this phrase to some of my co-working mothers and they agree... they feel the same way.
My children are growing up around me and I've given their childhood away.. in exchange for money... heartless really when you stop and think about it. Years ago mothers didn't have to work. I would gladly change from this life of convenience ... city life... for a lesser convenient life.. if that life meant that I would be able to see my children grow, play with them.
I wasn't close to my mother [a choice I will always believe was made for me] but I remember that during my childhood - she was a stay at home mom - she would swing with us. She would lay on a blanket and tan while we played. I long to do things like this with my kids.

We went to "The Festival in the Park" today. http://www.roanokefestival.org/ It's open for 4 days, tomorrow will be the last day. The festival showcases music, art and crafts. It was a nice day, we went early because I needed to go pick up Marcus from his weekend at his Dad's. We ate corn dogs, Kettle corn and drank freshly squeezed Lemonaide. I wish that I had taken the camera with us. I'm going to have to start doing that. We used to take the camera everywhere - I don't know what made us get out of the habit.

Snack day for Supermom

I'm the "snack mom" for my son's minor league baseball game tonight. Being snack mom is fun. But, decideing what to take stinks. My son has braces so I try to take his ability to eat or not eat something into consideration. I try to also look at whether or not it has peanuts or something that another kid could be highly allergic to in it.
Baseball season is almost over for the year.. as well as school. He will be graduating from elementary school this year. I don't like to see summer coming. My son spends every summer with his dad. I get him every other weekend during the summer, which is more like saying his friends get him every other weekend. =) I would rather him be with me, where I know he's being taken care of. Not that his dad isn't taking care of him, but we live in a town 80 miles away from his dad. And that's just too far to pop in.

I love my son. I try to do the best that I can for him. Sometimes it seems as though I'm talking to a 2 year old in a 10 year old's body. We don't get along sometimes. I can't seem to get through to him. I ask him to do anything and it's like asking him in a different language. He just gives you this look ... this blank expression takes over his face... and you wait .. there's a way that he looks that tells me that he gets what I'm saying but then a split second later he says "What?" or "huh" or "I don't get it"
I get so tired of re-explaining everything. I would really like to meet some moms that are experiencing the same things with their children.