Last night it happened again. On my way to take Punk to stay with his dad and stepmom for the weekend, LuLu notice what street we were on and said "that's the street to go to my school" Which began a conversation about how she wouldn't be in the same school as Punk at the same time but he had gone to those schools. And how one day she'd go to the school he's going to go to next year. To which Punk replied "What if I don't go to that school next year? What if I go live with my dad?"
Now from what I understand this is a statement or a conversation that happens alot with Punk's dad and possibly stepmom. But not so much here. When he mentions it here, it's mostly out of the blue like this time and I feel like I've been missing something. I mean, how does he get to this conclusion. I know I couldn't wait to leave home when I was his age.. but I didn't have a parent in another home.. I only had me and graduation. (can't say "wait til you graduate to him" everything I say goes in one ear and out his mouth to his dad... and usually Punk's translations leave something to be desired)
So, what I'm left with is.... Punk won't talk to me about his feelings and why he want's to move. I mean I'm no dummy I understand his need for his dad but then he tells me that he loves his stepdad (Hubs) just as much as his dad.
I'm going to be a SAHM soon (so I'll be home more for him and my other children) I've pointed out all the reasons that he could/should/(please don't go)stay. School's are better, More opportunities, Friends are here, he won't have to start over, I'll be able to help more, get to know him more, be there more... I know this probably isn't about me... personally. It could be more of a teenage "I can't stand my parents", "If I lived with my dad things would be different" thing. But I can't help but scream on the inside... WAIT! STOP! you're my baby! I need to have you where I know what's going on... where I can make sure you're okay... where I can protect you... where I can watch you grow, and do homework, and make sure the school is doing what it's supposed to for you and see you, and hear you... PLEASE!!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!
So do I bolt the doors and windows? Or watch my first baby bird fly... at 13...
Showing posts with label Family Matters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Matters. Show all posts
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Punk asked me yesterday, via text message from school, if he could go to a dance after school today. We'd basically not had any problems so I said sure. His dances are usually no problem since they begin directly after school is over and you just go pick up your kid at 5PM. So, no running back and forth to home and school - easy peasy.
Last night he asked me for $4 for the ticket, oh "and can I have a $5 more for food?" I stopped at the ATM on the way home and got a $20 (the smallest bill that will come out of our ATMs) and gave it to him. Remembering that he only needed $9, I asked him to bring me the change after the dance.
When I went to pick him up, he handed me $5. The rest of the conversation went something like this...
"Where's the rest of the money"
"Huh, What money?"
"The rest of the money that you were supposed to have for change. I gave you a $20, you needed $9, there's supposed to be at least $10 in change here. And you just gave me a $5."
"Uh, I don't know"
"What do you mean you don't know, did you count the money you were given back?"
" uh, I guess so"
"Write down everything you bought and how much it cost"
So he proceeds to write down the ticket, two slices of pizza, a bag of chips and a drink - it came to $8.50.
"So, where is the rest of the money?'
"Huh, Mom I don't understand what you mean... "
"What you wrote down totals $8.50, right? You just gave me $5, right? What is 8 +5?"
"13"
"Yes, so we've accounted for $13.50 of $20, right? Where is the rest of the $20?"
"Oh! I don't know."
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yea, No I mean No... I didn't"
like 15 minutes later at home... he's gathered $5 worth of change from what he says was his room, but only after I told him if he couldn't tell me where the money went that he owed me $5 and he would no longer go to the dances. Then I tried to go over the totals with him again.
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yes, I bought someone a drink."
"Why didn't you write it down?"
"Because you said to write down what I bought. And I didn't buy it, I just gave them the dollar and they bought it"
Seriously, just between me and you... when I have these conversations with my extremely intelligent 13yo (who refuses to apply himself, even with temptations of love or money) I can literally here my brain stop and say... "Wait, What did he just say?" It's like my whole body pauses... to say... "can you say that again"
I love him with my entire being.. not divided by several others but the whole thing.. without my kids and my Hubs I ain't nothing... But I can literally have a conversation with my 4yo better, easier... than I can have the same conversation with my 13 yo.
Is it boys vs girls? Is it boy vs mom? Is it teenager vs stupid authority figure? Is it ADHD vs non-ADHD?
There's so much I want to teach him.. but we can't seem to get any of it broken down into parts that he will retain or for that matter wants to hear. So... do I give up? Let him find his own way with no guidance what so ever? I don't think that's the kind of mother I am... at least not for my 4yo... but he's almost demanding it.
Last night he asked me for $4 for the ticket, oh "and can I have a $5 more for food?" I stopped at the ATM on the way home and got a $20 (the smallest bill that will come out of our ATMs) and gave it to him. Remembering that he only needed $9, I asked him to bring me the change after the dance.
When I went to pick him up, he handed me $5. The rest of the conversation went something like this...
"Where's the rest of the money"
"Huh, What money?"
"The rest of the money that you were supposed to have for change. I gave you a $20, you needed $9, there's supposed to be at least $10 in change here. And you just gave me a $5."
"Uh, I don't know"
"What do you mean you don't know, did you count the money you were given back?"
" uh, I guess so"
"Write down everything you bought and how much it cost"
So he proceeds to write down the ticket, two slices of pizza, a bag of chips and a drink - it came to $8.50.
"So, where is the rest of the money?'
"Huh, Mom I don't understand what you mean... "
"What you wrote down totals $8.50, right? You just gave me $5, right? What is 8 +5?"
"13"
"Yes, so we've accounted for $13.50 of $20, right? Where is the rest of the $20?"
"Oh! I don't know."
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yea, No I mean No... I didn't"
like 15 minutes later at home... he's gathered $5 worth of change from what he says was his room, but only after I told him if he couldn't tell me where the money went that he owed me $5 and he would no longer go to the dances. Then I tried to go over the totals with him again.
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yes, I bought someone a drink."
"Why didn't you write it down?"
"Because you said to write down what I bought. And I didn't buy it, I just gave them the dollar and they bought it"
Seriously, just between me and you... when I have these conversations with my extremely intelligent 13yo (who refuses to apply himself, even with temptations of love or money) I can literally here my brain stop and say... "Wait, What did he just say?" It's like my whole body pauses... to say... "can you say that again"
I love him with my entire being.. not divided by several others but the whole thing.. without my kids and my Hubs I ain't nothing... But I can literally have a conversation with my 4yo better, easier... than I can have the same conversation with my 13 yo.
Is it boys vs girls? Is it boy vs mom? Is it teenager vs stupid authority figure? Is it ADHD vs non-ADHD?
There's so much I want to teach him.. but we can't seem to get any of it broken down into parts that he will retain or for that matter wants to hear. So... do I give up? Let him find his own way with no guidance what so ever? I don't think that's the kind of mother I am... at least not for my 4yo... but he's almost demanding it.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Catching up, Again.
More things to catch up on... I don't even know where to start.... so here goes.
I had made up my mind at the end of last year that I was in too much pain to continue dealing with my endometriosis. Went to my dr. discussed options and had decided to have a hysterectomy. (much to my drs. disappointment) A couple of weeks went by, I started talking to women going through the same pain and stress. I read up on hysterectomies and then I started reading up on IUDs. Alot of information is out there about IUDs and alot of it came back to the IUD actually causing my pain. I made another decision. Let's take the IUD out, see if the pain changes. If it doesn't then okay, if it does then we'll see. I went in told my dr what I wanted to do, he agreed. It was as though he literally pulled the pain away from my body when he took out the IUD!! I had been in such life altering pain before that... to the point that I had to force myself to function, or to get out of bed. It was a nightmare. The next few days were kind of a start over... a little bit of pain but nothing close to what I was used to. Then, after that.... nothing. Just nothing! No pain at all. I cancelled the hysterectomy and went on birth control pills and haven't had that kind of pain since.
Coupled with the bodyaches I started having major headaches in August. Daily headaches. I let them go.. didn't think much of it really. Until the first of the year rolled around and I was still having them. I finally decided to go to the dr about it. She set up an appointment for a CT scan. When that came back I went to a ENT specialist. She decided that, since my sinus cavaties were completely blocked, and since I had a deviated septum and a bone spur in my sinus cavaty, I should have surgery on my sinus to correct and empty them. I had surgery April 4th. Came home the same day, went to sleep and woke up for the next 7 days long enough to change the gauze under my nose and take another Loritab and go back to sleep. By the next thursday I was able to wakeup and stay awake for longer. Two days later my headaches were back. Nothing had changed. I went to a Neurologist in May. He put me on an anti-inflamitory and a low dose anti depressant that he says they prescribe for headaches and sleepless nights. He also sent me for an MRI, that came back clean. So we've found nothing wrong so far....
My dad moved in with us. He had been employed in textiles and his company did a layoff right after the 1st of the year... he knew it was coming... grapevine, you know. Anyway, he's been looking for a job... found a couple but nothing seems to be the right fit. He went to a job fair last week... and was offered a job building "freight cars for the railroad." He goes on Monday to take test to see if his body qualifies as well. Cross your fingers!
I'm still employed at the same bank. But my old boss asked me to come and work for him temporarily in the mortgage area. That was in Feburary, I'm still there... and I love it!
Summer's coming and once again our Air Conditioner is on the fritz. I had decided that we weren't going to turn the a/c on this year - try to do better for the planet and save a little money at the same time. Then the temperature hit the 90s! Hubby has to sleep during the day because of his work schedule. So he's sleeping during the hottest part of the day with literally no relief. We've had problems out of our Central Air every year since we bought the house. (and the house is only five years old) Hubby asked is Stepdad to come take a look at it the first year and has trusted him to handle it every year since. But I'm through with that. We're going to get professionals here and soon. We turned the a/c on Thursday of this week... upstairs once again doesn't work, downstairs does though... so we've been sleeping in the livingroom since Thursday... not comfortable.
I started my Flylady program again.. to try to keep my stress level down and to a minium. With the heat and hubby's schedule it's been difficult to do my zone work and keep up with what I'm supposed to be doing. But I'm trying... and that's what counts - Babysteps back to my routine!
well that's me in a nutshell... except for I can't decide whether or not to have another baby. There are alot of sides to the issue.. Money, Lulu needing a sibling younger than she is, my age, the state of the economy or lack there of, not to mention the normal worries of will I be able to do it basicly on my own since hubby works Monday through Friday from 10pm to 12pm... I really don't know what to do or if I want to do anything...
I had made up my mind at the end of last year that I was in too much pain to continue dealing with my endometriosis. Went to my dr. discussed options and had decided to have a hysterectomy. (much to my drs. disappointment) A couple of weeks went by, I started talking to women going through the same pain and stress. I read up on hysterectomies and then I started reading up on IUDs. Alot of information is out there about IUDs and alot of it came back to the IUD actually causing my pain. I made another decision. Let's take the IUD out, see if the pain changes. If it doesn't then okay, if it does then we'll see. I went in told my dr what I wanted to do, he agreed. It was as though he literally pulled the pain away from my body when he took out the IUD!! I had been in such life altering pain before that... to the point that I had to force myself to function, or to get out of bed. It was a nightmare. The next few days were kind of a start over... a little bit of pain but nothing close to what I was used to. Then, after that.... nothing. Just nothing! No pain at all. I cancelled the hysterectomy and went on birth control pills and haven't had that kind of pain since.
Coupled with the bodyaches I started having major headaches in August. Daily headaches. I let them go.. didn't think much of it really. Until the first of the year rolled around and I was still having them. I finally decided to go to the dr about it. She set up an appointment for a CT scan. When that came back I went to a ENT specialist. She decided that, since my sinus cavaties were completely blocked, and since I had a deviated septum and a bone spur in my sinus cavaty, I should have surgery on my sinus to correct and empty them. I had surgery April 4th. Came home the same day, went to sleep and woke up for the next 7 days long enough to change the gauze under my nose and take another Loritab and go back to sleep. By the next thursday I was able to wakeup and stay awake for longer. Two days later my headaches were back. Nothing had changed. I went to a Neurologist in May. He put me on an anti-inflamitory and a low dose anti depressant that he says they prescribe for headaches and sleepless nights. He also sent me for an MRI, that came back clean. So we've found nothing wrong so far....
My dad moved in with us. He had been employed in textiles and his company did a layoff right after the 1st of the year... he knew it was coming... grapevine, you know. Anyway, he's been looking for a job... found a couple but nothing seems to be the right fit. He went to a job fair last week... and was offered a job building "freight cars for the railroad." He goes on Monday to take test to see if his body qualifies as well. Cross your fingers!
I'm still employed at the same bank. But my old boss asked me to come and work for him temporarily in the mortgage area. That was in Feburary, I'm still there... and I love it!
Summer's coming and once again our Air Conditioner is on the fritz. I had decided that we weren't going to turn the a/c on this year - try to do better for the planet and save a little money at the same time. Then the temperature hit the 90s! Hubby has to sleep during the day because of his work schedule. So he's sleeping during the hottest part of the day with literally no relief. We've had problems out of our Central Air every year since we bought the house. (and the house is only five years old) Hubby asked is Stepdad to come take a look at it the first year and has trusted him to handle it every year since. But I'm through with that. We're going to get professionals here and soon. We turned the a/c on Thursday of this week... upstairs once again doesn't work, downstairs does though... so we've been sleeping in the livingroom since Thursday... not comfortable.
I started my Flylady program again.. to try to keep my stress level down and to a minium. With the heat and hubby's schedule it's been difficult to do my zone work and keep up with what I'm supposed to be doing. But I'm trying... and that's what counts - Babysteps back to my routine!
well that's me in a nutshell... except for I can't decide whether or not to have another baby. There are alot of sides to the issue.. Money, Lulu needing a sibling younger than she is, my age, the state of the economy or lack there of, not to mention the normal worries of will I be able to do it basicly on my own since hubby works Monday through Friday from 10pm to 12pm... I really don't know what to do or if I want to do anything...
Monday, July 23, 2007
Rambles
wow, 22 more weeks left in the year. Hopefully only 22 more weeks that I will be working 6 days a week. I never in a million years thought that I would have let this schedule go on for 5 solid years... it's ridiculous. But there have been some things that have had their hand in and forced me to continue.
I drove my Mom and step-Dad home today. He is very sore and in some pain from the triple by-pass that he had last Thursday. But, that's to be expected, right?! It's not everyday your chest gets cracked open. I'm just tired from the drive.. 80 miles each way... and to think that I drove it for 5 years! WOW!
I drove my Mom and step-Dad home today. He is very sore and in some pain from the triple by-pass that he had last Thursday. But, that's to be expected, right?! It's not everyday your chest gets cracked open. I'm just tired from the drive.. 80 miles each way... and to think that I drove it for 5 years! WOW!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Family Matters
On Sunday I got a text message from my sister - "are you still at work", I replied "no', the response that came back was "call me" So, I did. Kim had gotten a call from someone that works with our mom, Debbie, and stepdad. Our stepdad, Bobby, had had a heartattack at 1230pm that day while at work. The way the story has been told and retold to me is After the first heart attack Mom took Bobby to the hospital in their town. While he was there he had three more heart attacks before 6:30pm. It was at that time that he was airlifted to my small city 80 miles away. Bobby's daughter brought Mom here and after a while left.
Since then of course has been a difficult week. I've not really spoken to my mother since I was 14, when I moved out.. just off and on... more of a mutual thing really. In any case, she doesn't have a cell phone, the same girl that brought Mom here ran her cell phone bill up to over $1,200 from calling, texting and downloading.. then proceeded to steal the bill out of the box so Mom wouldn't know. Anyway, I digress.... so she doesn't have a cell phone, left in such a hurry that she didn't get any clothes for herself, they live on very little means so she didn't have any money to eat here. I offered repeatedly for her to stay here or shower here or whatever... I took her to Wal-mart a few times whatever she wanted I bought. Gave her money just in case. and while she was at my house taking a shower I gave her clothes to wear. I just tried to do anything I thought would help her.
I've learned that Bobby has no medical insurance. I just can't understand how that's going to work... two hospital bills - two surgeries (one being a triple bypass) yadda, yadda, yadda.. Now he's partially disabled...
She's upstairs now.. just went up to bed. Monday she came here took a shower and asked to go back to stay there that night.. she was able to stay with him. They opened him up on Tuesday to look around... found 7 blockages. They started prep'ing him for surgery on Wednesday and then at some point found another blockage in his neck. So they pushed the surgery to today, Thursday.
His surgery went well. The blockages were corrected and he was in his room resting when we came here tonight. I stayed out of work today to go sit with mom and keep her company.. She did well too. She came back here tonight to rest, she wasn't allowed in his recovery room so hopefully a good night's sleep in an actual bed will do her good.
Since then of course has been a difficult week. I've not really spoken to my mother since I was 14, when I moved out.. just off and on... more of a mutual thing really. In any case, she doesn't have a cell phone, the same girl that brought Mom here ran her cell phone bill up to over $1,200 from calling, texting and downloading.. then proceeded to steal the bill out of the box so Mom wouldn't know. Anyway, I digress.... so she doesn't have a cell phone, left in such a hurry that she didn't get any clothes for herself, they live on very little means so she didn't have any money to eat here. I offered repeatedly for her to stay here or shower here or whatever... I took her to Wal-mart a few times whatever she wanted I bought. Gave her money just in case. and while she was at my house taking a shower I gave her clothes to wear. I just tried to do anything I thought would help her.
I've learned that Bobby has no medical insurance. I just can't understand how that's going to work... two hospital bills - two surgeries (one being a triple bypass) yadda, yadda, yadda.. Now he's partially disabled...
She's upstairs now.. just went up to bed. Monday she came here took a shower and asked to go back to stay there that night.. she was able to stay with him. They opened him up on Tuesday to look around... found 7 blockages. They started prep'ing him for surgery on Wednesday and then at some point found another blockage in his neck. So they pushed the surgery to today, Thursday.
His surgery went well. The blockages were corrected and he was in his room resting when we came here tonight. I stayed out of work today to go sit with mom and keep her company.. She did well too. She came back here tonight to rest, she wasn't allowed in his recovery room so hopefully a good night's sleep in an actual bed will do her good.
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