Fit Mommy Friday (week 4)

I have been totally non motivated. Since my oldest daughter came home this week from her grandparents, I've been staying up later (to have ME time) but then that causes me to need a nap when I come home from the paper route.  So I come home and nurse her at 7am, then sleep til she wakes to nurse again... 10.... 11... yawn.. by then the day is shot and it's too hot!
Plus I'm pretty sure that I'm compensating for a lack of... well let's just say I don't get alot of "Mommy-Daddy time"  so I'm having an affair... with SUGAR!  real nice!  there's alot wrong with it, I know. 
If I'm going to pursue this affair I need to do it with something healthier... say like, I don't know a bicycle, or a treadmill, or an early morning run.  Something that would make me sweat instead of bloat.
My sister and I have been talking about starting a blog that we could each journal our food and exercise on. 
We've set up a few rules...
1. No eating in the livingroom or in front of the tv
2. No eating in the car
3. No eating within two hours of bedtime.

I'm going to talk with her about goals for exercise and water.  we'll see how this goes.

Baby's doctor visit

We took our littlest girl to the doctor yesterday. Doc said the same thing the net said.  Milk allergy.  Difficult for me to hear, considering I'm nursing her.  I told him if it's something that I'm eating I'll stop!  He said "to be honest, I could put you strictly on rocks and water and it could still happen to her." 
So, he says we'll watch her.  I'm to continue nursing her and pumping when needed.  If it gets worse we are to change to a formula that he gave me a sample of for 5 days while I continue to pump.
The only thing that I've had different since before she was born has been butter pecan ice cream.  I had a waffle cone on Tuesday and she had the poop on Wednesday.  By the way, she hasn't had poop like that since.
thanks for the well wishes and prayers!!

Worry

Worry
I changed baby's diaper tonight only to find it blood tinged. Net search says milk allergy. Dr in the AM. scared! Prayers?

Who are you, who who, who who... ???

My dad lived with us for 3 years. He shared a bathroom with my son who will be 14 next month. In your opinion who should've been cleaning their bathroom?
It came to my attention today... that no one was cleaning the bathroom.  Keep in mind that I was working two jobs and keeping the rest of the house.. I suppose I just assumed that dad would clean it. 
WRONG.... so so so so so so so WRONG!!!

Fit Mommy Friday (week 3)

Confession - I haven't done alot.
Request for praise - I haven't eaten as much sugar this week as usual.
Discovery - I've found if I eat "breakfast" before going out on the paper route, I don't buy junk food to stay awake! Yea! (It's hard to call it breakfast at 3AM)
Here's what my week looked like:
Monday - Cleaned the Dining Room and the Laundry Room (top to bottom) and did a load of laundry
Tuesday - Cleaned the Kitchen (top to bottom) and did a load of laundry
Wednesday - Cleaned out Vehicles and put away laundry.
Thursday - Weeded flower beds, took a 3 boxes of clothes to Good Will, put away laundry & went to bed early.
Friday - Cleaned the Livingroom (top to bottom) will put away Lulu and Squiggle's laundry, also going through Squiggle's clothes to donate (we have WAY too much 0-3 onesies, gowns and outfits. She went from premie clothes to 3-6 month clothes in two months! Good 'ol breast milk!!)
Next week: 
I will plan meals for each day, but also include my 3AM breakfast.
With LuLu back home I will take her for walks or to the playground or play on the Wii
I will keep house, after all I chose this job I am going to do it!
I will prepare bicycle to be ridden and see if Squiggle will ride in the trailer behind me =)

My LuLu has been gone to her grandparents this week. So, with my son gone to his dad's for the summer it's just been "Squiggle" and Hubby and me.  And believe it or not I actually got the majority of the house cleaned to my liking while LuLu was away.  I hope that I can keep it this way.
I'm so proud... If I posted pics to my page I'd share.  =)
I miss her to pieces though... She's supposed to come back on Sunday.
I pulled out the Dance Dance Revolution and figured out how to work it last week and also got the WII Fit out and did it one day for an hour.

....or so?!

okay, real quick while the baby is sleeping and this is fresh in my mind. 
We bought a car from Hubby's (estranged) mother.  This car is to be used for the paper route. It's a green (pretty) four door 1997 Ford Escort with over 115k miles on it.  It's fairly clean and not beat up (for now!) We had been talking about getting this car from her for a couple months now.  Knowing what was going on and everything we needed a car that I could drive on the route and not have a car payment.  We simply cannot afford two car payments since I've been laid off. Enough background...
Now, we bought the car from her on Saturday, for $2,500.00.   We talked about insurance coverage for the car.  Liability only?  Full?  What happens if it's totalled? (accidents happen, right!?)  What will be covered?  If we do full, would they give us a check for the value?
So here's what's said... (this is after, I assume, he spoke with his dad or friends about the issue)
Me:  "So, which coverage do you think is best?"
Hubby: "Well, I think we should just do liability.  If we do full coverage, they'd only give us the value of the car back - and that'd only be $1500.00 or so"  
Now logic aside... did you just tell me that we gave your MOM an extra $1,000 for her car?  I mean cause when I replay this in my head that's what it sounds like to me... Or is the "or so" the other $1,000??
Because that's a great BIG "or so"

what am I doing that

what am I doing that I can't post? Today I pulled weeds from my flower beds, exchanged a blender, and am doing laundry.

I'm blogging in 160 characters

I'm blogging in 160 characters or less these days. I only have time to text. If I sit down I loose momentum. Feel guilty...

I am so tired of

I am so tired of waisting days. I can't get any housework done. And it's starting to drive me a little more than nuts!

Better Me

LuLu found me sobbing last night.  She'd come down from brushing her teeth, after I'd asked her for the third time.  Her first reaction was to start crying with me.  Then she said "Are we growing up too fast, Mommy?"  which was the reason I'd given her for the last time she saw me blubbering like an idiot.  And it was the honest reason.. they are growing up too fast.  It'd hit me that even though I'm at home I've still not accomplished as much with the girls as I thought I would.
I answered her with the honest reason last night as well.  "Yes, honey.  But mommy just feels like she's not a good mommy sometimes."   She reassured me that I was, which of course made me feel some better.  But knowing that she has nothing to compare it to and that I'd seen the entire day through my own eyes... well, let's just say the crying continued after I got her to sleep.
Sometimes our evenings just flow... and other times it's like a pinball game in here.  I keep hitting walls and pitfalls. My days are reversed from what most housewives experience.  Hubby goes to work at 4PM so we have "family time" during the day.  Right now alot of the family time consists of everyone sleeping while I try not to wake them.  Then making brunch and supper..
Our days go by rather quickly.  By the time 5pm gets here I've already been up for 14 hours if not longer.  Seems like the kids are getting another wind just when I'm winding down. 
I'm tired.

Fit Mommy Friday (week 2)

So, My first week of Fit Mommy didn't go very well.  I slept very little all week and wound up sleeping as soon as I got home from the paper route.  So, I'm going to revamp my goals.
1. I will try to walk each day, at least 1 mile.
1 a.  If I am unable to walk or be outside because of sleep/time/weather, etc.  I will use the WII for 20/30 minutes (as baby allows)
2.  My goal this month is to lose 5lbs.

Keep on Giving

We found out we were pregnant in September.  I felt sure it would be a boy but to my surprise I received a 2nd beautiful daughter.  One problem - I'd decided without much deliberation that we wouldn't have anymore children.  I have a son from my first marriage who's nearly 10 years older than our daughter.  So, considering that and the time that my husband and I actually spend together per day (at the time we only saw each other on weekends because he worked an odd version of 2nd shift and I worked 1st and 3rd)
After deciding that we wouldn't have any more children I'd starting selling all our daughters clothes and toys at yard sales - COME AND GET IT.. $.10 EACH OR A BAG FOR $1.   Needless to say... I sold alot!
When we found out that we were having a girl we let friends know that I'd gotten rid of the clothes from LuLu's first year.  Our friends were sooo sweet!  Everywhere we looked friends had daughters that had grown out of their clothes!  So bags of clothes started showing up left and right!
At Christmas we went to Hubby's bio-mom's house... She said she had gotten some clothes for the baby and LuLu.  When we got there she brought out a few boxes.  She mentioned where the boxes came from but I didn't recognize so I didn't give it much thought.  One box had nothing but baby boy clothes in it.  (this was before we found out we were having a girl, so no biggie...)  The second and third boxes both had clothes of varying sizes; 5T, 6, 10, 12, etc.  Our daughter was in a 4T at Christmas. She seemed so happy to be able to "hand" us a box of clothes that I really couldn't say anything to her. 
I get these boxes home and start to go through them to rewash (cause that's what I do) and sort them.  Not only are the sizes all out of sorts, but the clothes are too.  Some of the clothes were for boys... some were for girls.  Some of the clothes had tags... some had been worn nearly threadbare.  I started wondering where the clothes had come from.  I asked Hubby.  He said it was a donation store for sheltered families and shut-ins... !! WHAT?!   So, let me get this straight... She's given me stuff that was sent in for people who have NOTHING?  This made me feel horrible.  I feel like I'm an accomplice to some sort of theft!  I don't want to accept these "gifts" if they were actually supposed to be donations. 
I understand feeling compelled to get your grandchildren something, but at the expense of others??   And how could anyone really not see it that way?  If she can't afford to give a boat load of things to them, why not give them one thing, or nothing... I know how about trying to be a better grandparent to her grandchildren than she was mother to her son... because from what I hear that left quite a bit to be desired. 
She's continued to give us "gifts" of clothing since then.  They are the same.  Clothes that are much too big or too little for one daughter or the other.   She's been told that she doesn't need to get the kids anything, but she persists.  I've even expressed how we're running out of room because of the clothes that everyone is giving us.  The ones the girls can wear AND the ones that even the oldest of the girls has to wait 2 or 3 more years to wear.  She literally pouted the last time I said something about it... pouted!
So, what am I to do?  Just smile and make her happy... keep my mouth shut, take the clothes, wash, separate, and store them for the next 2 or 3 years until they can wear them?  Or remind her every time she gives them a box clothes that we don't have room for them?  What would you do?

Goals

I've decided that I will have a goal for the remainder of the month.. to lose 5 lbs.

Going through the Motions

I honestly thought things would be different.  I mean I had an 8AM to 5PM (sometimes 6PM) Monday through Friday job, two kids and a husband. I gradually had to pick up the second job, 7 days a week, for four hours a day (delivering newspapers) because my husband and I felt as if we saw some changes happening at my office... a glitch in the force.  That was March of 2009. 
June of 2009 came and my team at work got sent to another office, in another state, to be trained for a week on upcoming system changes with a merger that was taking place.  The company had been bought. 
July 2009, We took the family to the beach for a long weekend. First time I'd ever stepped foot in the ocean. Loved it! 
September 2009 - Our surprise baby decided to make her intended appearance known.  Although it would take the entire month of September for the doctor and my body to be in on the surprise, the baby had her mind made up!
November 2009 - on the 18th I'd scheduled an appointment to get our first daughter's eyes checked.  She'd been "not" seeing things for a little while... the day before an announcement was made that there would be a meeting on the 18th and ALL were needed to attend.  I explained my appointment and was told I would need to reschedule. 
November 18th... The meeting was called to tell us (4 different buildings in three different states, at least 75 people) that we were no longer needed.  Thank you, Goodbye. 

Normally I would have been in panic mode.  But I saw it as an opportunity to reconnect with my family.  To be the mom I'd always wanted to be.  To be the wife I wanted to be.  So far... it's looking more like a pipe dream than I'd thought. 
I kept the newspaper gig.  So, I'm up between 3AM and 4AM, I go deliver papers for 2 and a half hours and come home, round trip and all = four hours. He watches the kids while I'm gone.  He currently works from 4PM to around 1:30AM.  Which also means he's used to sleeping until 11AM. 
Now that the baby is 10 weeks old she's started sleeping through the night. So he can get a full night's sleep, which is good.  But I usually don't get in the bed until 10PM or 11PM, then I'm up again at 3AM or 4AM and stay up all day until 10 or 11 again. 
I guess it's the scheduling of it all that's really got me down. 
I'm trying to clean, but it seems like everyone is sleeping so I can't vacuum or REALLY clean because I'll wake someone.  Then when they wake up it's almost lunch time.  So I try to have some sort of breakfast ready.  Then I try to have supper ready for him to eat with us before he goes to work and so that he can help with the baby while I'm cooking.  By the time supper is over, he's gone to work, I'm beat from being up all day.
I need to get a routine down before I go crazy.  I want to have the house in order but I'd also hoped to take a few classes this fall...  I just don't see adding more work to my schedule when I can't get the housework done.

Guilt

I feel guilty for sitting down to post anything... when there's housework to be done.

...why is it that when the kids are gone all I want to do is sleep?

Make Me Say It Again, Girl

1. Do you feel that you need to keep repeating yourself when talking to a particular person?
     My paternal grandmother, she has had a hard time hearing and now she has a hard time remembering.

2. It's July. Do you have anything special planned?
    Today we're going to a birthday party for a dear friend's daughter.  She turned two this year (and she's adorable!!)
3. Who is your big celebrity crush?  Mike Rowe

4. Tell us about a local restaurant you are sure we'd love.
    If you like barbeque, You'd LOVE Henry's Memphis Barbecue.. it's all delicious there! Different Sauces, Home made Fries, Ribs, Pulled Pork... mmmMMmmmMmmm
5. Tell us about the shyest person that you deal with regularly.
   I'm a stay-at-home mom now... the shyest people I deal with now are shy when they've done something they shouldn't have.
6. What is your vision of heaven and hell?
   Believe it or not... I'm just now getting to know this aspect of my beliefs.
7. What is your neighborhood like?
   It's a nice neighborhood.  Only about 7 or 8 years old. We bought in 7 years ago.  There are all types of people. We have a community yard sale every year.
8. What's your favorite cook-out food?
   main - hamburgers
   side - either grilled corn or baked beans
   dessert - banana pudding
9. When was the last time that you saw fireworks?
  Last July

I've started walking. I want to do it each morning when I get home from the paper route.  Thursday morning Lulu went with me.  Since I haven't walked for exercise in a while I decided it would be better to start slow.  We walked just in our neighborhood which is hilly.  It took me 22 minutes and 43 seconds to walk 1mile and 19 tenths with a 5yo and pushing my 9 wo in the stroller.
I've heard that it takes 21 days of doing something to make it a habit. 
I watched Losing it with Jillian the other night - It inspires me to become more aware of the choices I make.  I want my daughter to be prouder of herself than I am of myself.

I'm thinking of buying a pedometer.. seeing how close to 10,000 steps I can get.

Fit Mommy Friday

I found this meme mid week and decided it would be a good thing to start since I'm trying to get healther.

                     My level of participation is going to be The Beginner Level.
                     My Goals for the Week are: 
                         1. walk at least 1 mile each day
                         2. take vitamins each day
                         3. avoid foods with artifical sugar

I did fairly well.  I walked on Thursday.  1.19 miles  
I can tell you right now that's more than I've walked since my 6th month in  pregnancy and the baby will be 10 weeks old tomorrow.

Join me in getting healthier

Talk Radio

Lately I've been listening to talk radio instead of music.  Even though I have satellite radio I get so bored with listening to music.  Let's face it... I get bored very quickly, with everything.

Here is a list of book titles that have been discussed recently, that I would like to read:

What's Going on in There

Be Happy without being Perfect

The Wisdom of Menopause