My dad lived with us for 3 years. He shared a bathroom with my son who will be 14 next month. In your opinion who should've been cleaning their bathroom?
It came to my attention today... that no one was cleaning the bathroom. Keep in mind that I was working two jobs and keeping the rest of the house.. I suppose I just assumed that dad would clean it.
WRONG.... so so so so so so so WRONG!!!
Showing posts with label You've Got SOME Nerve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You've Got SOME Nerve. Show all posts
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Keep on Giving
We found out we were pregnant in September. I felt sure it would be a boy but to my surprise I received a 2nd beautiful daughter. One problem - I'd decided without much deliberation that we wouldn't have anymore children. I have a son from my first marriage who's nearly 10 years older than our daughter. So, considering that and the time that my husband and I actually spend together per day (at the time we only saw each other on weekends because he worked an odd version of 2nd shift and I worked 1st and 3rd)
After deciding that we wouldn't have any more children I'd starting selling all our daughters clothes and toys at yard sales - COME AND GET IT.. $.10 EACH OR A BAG FOR $1. Needless to say... I sold alot!
When we found out that we were having a girl we let friends know that I'd gotten rid of the clothes from LuLu's first year. Our friends were sooo sweet! Everywhere we looked friends had daughters that had grown out of their clothes! So bags of clothes started showing up left and right!
At Christmas we went to Hubby's bio-mom's house... She said she had gotten some clothes for the baby and LuLu. When we got there she brought out a few boxes. She mentioned where the boxes came from but I didn't recognize so I didn't give it much thought. One box had nothing but baby boy clothes in it. (this was before we found out we were having a girl, so no biggie...) The second and third boxes both had clothes of varying sizes; 5T, 6, 10, 12, etc. Our daughter was in a 4T at Christmas. She seemed so happy to be able to "hand" us a box of clothes that I really couldn't say anything to her.
I get these boxes home and start to go through them to rewash (cause that's what I do) and sort them. Not only are the sizes all out of sorts, but the clothes are too. Some of the clothes were for boys... some were for girls. Some of the clothes had tags... some had been worn nearly threadbare. I started wondering where the clothes had come from. I asked Hubby. He said it was a donation store for sheltered families and shut-ins... !! WHAT?! So, let me get this straight... She's given me stuff that was sent in for people who have NOTHING? This made me feel horrible. I feel like I'm an accomplice to some sort of theft! I don't want to accept these "gifts" if they were actually supposed to be donations.
I understand feeling compelled to get your grandchildren something, but at the expense of others?? And how could anyone really not see it that way? If she can't afford to give a boat load of things to them, why not give them one thing, or nothing... I know how about trying to be a better grandparent to her grandchildren than she was mother to her son... because from what I hear that left quite a bit to be desired.
She's continued to give us "gifts" of clothing since then. They are the same. Clothes that are much too big or too little for one daughter or the other. She's been told that she doesn't need to get the kids anything, but she persists. I've even expressed how we're running out of room because of the clothes that everyone is giving us. The ones the girls can wear AND the ones that even the oldest of the girls has to wait 2 or 3 more years to wear. She literally pouted the last time I said something about it... pouted!
So, what am I to do? Just smile and make her happy... keep my mouth shut, take the clothes, wash, separate, and store them for the next 2 or 3 years until they can wear them? Or remind her every time she gives them a box clothes that we don't have room for them? What would you do?
After deciding that we wouldn't have any more children I'd starting selling all our daughters clothes and toys at yard sales - COME AND GET IT.. $.10 EACH OR A BAG FOR $1. Needless to say... I sold alot!
When we found out that we were having a girl we let friends know that I'd gotten rid of the clothes from LuLu's first year. Our friends were sooo sweet! Everywhere we looked friends had daughters that had grown out of their clothes! So bags of clothes started showing up left and right!
At Christmas we went to Hubby's bio-mom's house... She said she had gotten some clothes for the baby and LuLu. When we got there she brought out a few boxes. She mentioned where the boxes came from but I didn't recognize so I didn't give it much thought. One box had nothing but baby boy clothes in it. (this was before we found out we were having a girl, so no biggie...) The second and third boxes both had clothes of varying sizes; 5T, 6, 10, 12, etc. Our daughter was in a 4T at Christmas. She seemed so happy to be able to "hand" us a box of clothes that I really couldn't say anything to her.
I get these boxes home and start to go through them to rewash (cause that's what I do) and sort them. Not only are the sizes all out of sorts, but the clothes are too. Some of the clothes were for boys... some were for girls. Some of the clothes had tags... some had been worn nearly threadbare. I started wondering where the clothes had come from. I asked Hubby. He said it was a donation store for sheltered families and shut-ins... !! WHAT?! So, let me get this straight... She's given me stuff that was sent in for people who have NOTHING? This made me feel horrible. I feel like I'm an accomplice to some sort of theft! I don't want to accept these "gifts" if they were actually supposed to be donations.
I understand feeling compelled to get your grandchildren something, but at the expense of others?? And how could anyone really not see it that way? If she can't afford to give a boat load of things to them, why not give them one thing, or nothing... I know how about trying to be a better grandparent to her grandchildren than she was mother to her son... because from what I hear that left quite a bit to be desired.
She's continued to give us "gifts" of clothing since then. They are the same. Clothes that are much too big or too little for one daughter or the other. She's been told that she doesn't need to get the kids anything, but she persists. I've even expressed how we're running out of room because of the clothes that everyone is giving us. The ones the girls can wear AND the ones that even the oldest of the girls has to wait 2 or 3 more years to wear. She literally pouted the last time I said something about it... pouted!
So, what am I to do? Just smile and make her happy... keep my mouth shut, take the clothes, wash, separate, and store them for the next 2 or 3 years until they can wear them? Or remind her every time she gives them a box clothes that we don't have room for them? What would you do?
Monday, January 4, 2010
Hindsight's 20/20
a few years ago my dad lost his job... "move down here, there are jobs here... come stay with us..." I offered, it was the least I felt I could do. We had a good relationship, he and Hubs got along (drinking buddies, in fact) and there would be someone at home with me because his schedule was the same as mine and my schedule has always been the opposite of Hubs' schedule.
Fast forward through the next two years. Dad stayed with us for the first year. Never paid a penny for rent or utilities, I never asked him too. He held multiple jobs. None of them were quite what he wanted. He would stay most evenings with his ex-girlfriend and their daughter, until the daughter would go to bed, then he'd come here to sleep. Until he stopped staying here, he would come pick up a few of his clothes and go spend a few weeks with them. (They moved down when he did and live in a neighboring town) Then he stopped coming over all together, stopped calling. He got a job that included training that would keep him away for several months. He finished the training, got certified, and quit.
In September 2009 I found out that I am pregnant. He hasn't been here in almost two years. The room that he slept in still holds all his stuff, ie bed, dresser, clothes, tv, movies...
In October 2009, I call him, Dad - I just found out I'm pregnant, we're gonna be needing the bedroom that your things are in for the baby. Do you think you could come get it? Sure, no problem.
Almost a month goes by before I hear from him again. He texted me... Do you think I could come stay with you? Until I can find a job back home? My dreaded reply.. Sure, are you working now? He apparently was working, but didn't know how long it would last and said he wanted to find work where we are originally from. He comes home that Sunday, bringing things to prepare his lunch with for the week.
The next two months would be interesting... During the week, He would come home after my kids and I had gone to bed. And on the weekend, he wouldn't come home until Sunday around 8PM.
He has habits that I don't approve of... one of them being he smokes. But I don't mention anything to him about it, except for the request that he do that outside and never in the house. On the other hand, my kids have mentioned it to him or said something in passing. The 13 year old has really only said something to me... smoking really bothers his asthma. But the four year old, well, you know how four year olds can be... "Paw Paw, cigarettes is nasty!" and things like that to him. And mostly questions like "Why do Paw Paw's smoke?" to me. (Both her Paw Paw's smoke) Now as I've told friends with these questions, I'm not going to beg her not to smoke, tell her it's nasty and then turn around and reprimand her for telling him that. I believe that would be couterproductive on my part.
December 2009. He text me on the 18th after he'd left home for the day. Not sure at this point if he'd been working or not. "Have a good doctor's appointment, Happy Birthday" (He found out about the dr appt from Facebook, he's on my friends list) After the 18th I didn't hear anything from him...until January 1st at 3:30pm.. he texted me "Happy New Year, I love ya" and nothing since.
It's been a little upsetting, it's been strange, it's even been mind boggling... but I really don't know what to think of him... and I feel that my family and I have been used. And I really hate that it was by my own dad.
Fast forward through the next two years. Dad stayed with us for the first year. Never paid a penny for rent or utilities, I never asked him too. He held multiple jobs. None of them were quite what he wanted. He would stay most evenings with his ex-girlfriend and their daughter, until the daughter would go to bed, then he'd come here to sleep. Until he stopped staying here, he would come pick up a few of his clothes and go spend a few weeks with them. (They moved down when he did and live in a neighboring town) Then he stopped coming over all together, stopped calling. He got a job that included training that would keep him away for several months. He finished the training, got certified, and quit.
In September 2009 I found out that I am pregnant. He hasn't been here in almost two years. The room that he slept in still holds all his stuff, ie bed, dresser, clothes, tv, movies...
In October 2009, I call him, Dad - I just found out I'm pregnant, we're gonna be needing the bedroom that your things are in for the baby. Do you think you could come get it? Sure, no problem.
Almost a month goes by before I hear from him again. He texted me... Do you think I could come stay with you? Until I can find a job back home? My dreaded reply.. Sure, are you working now? He apparently was working, but didn't know how long it would last and said he wanted to find work where we are originally from. He comes home that Sunday, bringing things to prepare his lunch with for the week.
The next two months would be interesting... During the week, He would come home after my kids and I had gone to bed. And on the weekend, he wouldn't come home until Sunday around 8PM.
He has habits that I don't approve of... one of them being he smokes. But I don't mention anything to him about it, except for the request that he do that outside and never in the house. On the other hand, my kids have mentioned it to him or said something in passing. The 13 year old has really only said something to me... smoking really bothers his asthma. But the four year old, well, you know how four year olds can be... "Paw Paw, cigarettes is nasty!" and things like that to him. And mostly questions like "Why do Paw Paw's smoke?" to me. (Both her Paw Paw's smoke) Now as I've told friends with these questions, I'm not going to beg her not to smoke, tell her it's nasty and then turn around and reprimand her for telling him that. I believe that would be couterproductive on my part.
December 2009. He text me on the 18th after he'd left home for the day. Not sure at this point if he'd been working or not. "Have a good doctor's appointment, Happy Birthday" (He found out about the dr appt from Facebook, he's on my friends list) After the 18th I didn't hear anything from him...until January 1st at 3:30pm.. he texted me "Happy New Year, I love ya" and nothing since.
It's been a little upsetting, it's been strange, it's even been mind boggling... but I really don't know what to think of him... and I feel that my family and I have been used. And I really hate that it was by my own dad.
Monday, May 18, 2009
You're Kidding, right?
Last Thursday morning was rough, then at 3:20PM I was awakened from my sleep with Hubs by a phone call from my half sister, E.M.
She is a year younger than Punk. yea... on her birthday she'll be 12. She explains to me in rapid-fire talk.. that she and her friend are stuck and they'll need a ride.
What it boiled down to was Friend's mom has suddenly decided not to pick up E.M. and Friend at their after school activity (Ham Radio Club, who'da thunk?) and will also not be able to take them to the choir recital that night.
E.M asks me to come get her, take her to her apartment to get her clothes, take Friend to her place to get her clothes, take them back to the school to their HAM Radio Club and then they can stay there until after choir recital at which point I would be needed to take them to their homes again....
Wait... what??
You mean you're in choir.. I didn't know that.
You mean you're in HAM Radio club, wow, I didn't even know there was such a thing... Our dad told me when I tried out for volleyball if I made the team I'd have to find my own way to and from games, because he worked to hard all day to take me anywhere after school. (literally)
Now, Our dad is on the road... training to be a truck driver.
"where's your stepdad?" her step dad is a truck driver that does local pickups.
"where's your mom?" her mom... is in night school and asked her to call me to see if I'd do it. (our dad would be doing it if he was at home)
"she said she needed to know by 4:30 if you could do it..."
Wait... you mean she couldn't call me herself and ask?
well, no. I can't do it. you all are going to have to work this one out on your own.
I'm sorry.... I've lived in this city for 7 years with NO family around me for help or a sitter or anything. I've had to get by, cancel appointments, move things around... make it happen.
so... when you call me out of the clear blue sky.. and not even ask if we would like to come see your recital... knowing that I have a family that will be needing supper and their homework done and two jobs (one of which starts at 2:30AM) don't expect me to drop everything like our dad would... and run to your rescue. well, your mom's rescue.
She is a year younger than Punk. yea... on her birthday she'll be 12. She explains to me in rapid-fire talk.. that she and her friend are stuck and they'll need a ride.
What it boiled down to was Friend's mom has suddenly decided not to pick up E.M. and Friend at their after school activity (Ham Radio Club, who'da thunk?) and will also not be able to take them to the choir recital that night.
E.M asks me to come get her, take her to her apartment to get her clothes, take Friend to her place to get her clothes, take them back to the school to their HAM Radio Club and then they can stay there until after choir recital at which point I would be needed to take them to their homes again....
Wait... what??
You mean you're in choir.. I didn't know that.
You mean you're in HAM Radio club, wow, I didn't even know there was such a thing... Our dad told me when I tried out for volleyball if I made the team I'd have to find my own way to and from games, because he worked to hard all day to take me anywhere after school. (literally)
Now, Our dad is on the road... training to be a truck driver.
"where's your stepdad?" her step dad is a truck driver that does local pickups.
"where's your mom?" her mom... is in night school and asked her to call me to see if I'd do it. (our dad would be doing it if he was at home)
"she said she needed to know by 4:30 if you could do it..."
Wait... you mean she couldn't call me herself and ask?
well, no. I can't do it. you all are going to have to work this one out on your own.
I'm sorry.... I've lived in this city for 7 years with NO family around me for help or a sitter or anything. I've had to get by, cancel appointments, move things around... make it happen.
so... when you call me out of the clear blue sky.. and not even ask if we would like to come see your recital... knowing that I have a family that will be needing supper and their homework done and two jobs (one of which starts at 2:30AM) don't expect me to drop everything like our dad would... and run to your rescue. well, your mom's rescue.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
You're not serious, right?!
It's funny to me.. the amount of "nerve" some people have. Hubby has told me on several occasions that his mother has asked us for money. Now, I'm sure that I don't need to explain to you before I continue that we don't have money for ourselves, ie 2nd job, etc. let alone money to give away ( I need not be fooled into thinking that we would get the money back)
A few days ago he told me she called him, and again it was mostly for money. She actually asked my hubby if he would call his dad and ask if she could borrow $5,000!?!?!? I nearly drowned in the water I was drinking at the time.
Okay reality check here!! You've been DIVORCED from the man for over 30 years! You cheated on him with his BEST FRIEND! He is retired! He has a wife and two sons from that marriage! .... what sort of rancid, mildew infested (if that's possible) pot are you smokin' ?? I mean, damn, I've thought up some hair brained crap before but that's NUTZ!
A few days ago he told me she called him, and again it was mostly for money. She actually asked my hubby if he would call his dad and ask if she could borrow $5,000!?!?!? I nearly drowned in the water I was drinking at the time.
Okay reality check here!! You've been DIVORCED from the man for over 30 years! You cheated on him with his BEST FRIEND! He is retired! He has a wife and two sons from that marriage! .... what sort of rancid, mildew infested (if that's possible) pot are you smokin' ?? I mean, damn, I've thought up some hair brained crap before but that's NUTZ!
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