LuLu stayed home with us yesterday because we were scared that she might be exposed to whatever bug was making us sick so we kept her home from daycare. When I needed to leave the house to take Punk to guitar lessons, LuLu didn't want me to leave. She doesn't normally act that way. Then Hubs mentioned that it would be that way when she got ready to go to school.
I've been under the impression the entire time that we would continue to take LuLu to daycare until she started school. I believe that it will an easier transition for her to go from daycare to school rather than home with me and the baby to school.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
We have another uninvited guest: The Stomach Bug
sick, sick, sick...
I left work early last Wednesday(at 3pm) because the sitter called, "LuLu's throwing up." So, I go pick her up and the first thing she says is "where's daddy?" (I love you too, Sweetie) Hubby came home early because I needed to go to sleep so that I could work that night and stay home with Lu the next day. While he was home he started feeling bad.
Early Friday morning around 3am, Punk texted me let me know that his stomach hurt and was growling. I told him to go prepare his bathroom, just in case. You know make sure there was toliet paper, wipes... and he may want to make a bed in the hall. (Since LuLu and Hubby are both piled up in the livingroom near the half bath) About 30 minutes later he text me that he'd just thrown up 8 times. So, it was official everyone's sick.
I was hoping that I'd made it through the thick of the sickness without any problems. And then came Monday.
I went out on the paper route, didn't feel very different.. one of Hubby's friends called me and we talked for most of the time that I was on the route. When I got home I was a little wired so I worked on a puzzle that I'd started on the dining room table, then I went to take a shower. That's when I got sick. The heat in the shower.. I thought I was gonna pass out.. no matter what I did to the temp of the water.. UGH! I got out laid down for a bit.. and went to work. By noon I knew I wasn't gonna make it the rest of the day. And by 4pm I was on the way home. I won't go into details but I will say that my stomach was rolling and it wasn't from the baby. When I got home, Hubs told me he'd also gotten sick, very sick. So, he and I have spent the last two days sick as dogs. I have been on the couch in the livingroom and Hubs has been in the masterbed room sleeping in the floor near the bathroom.
I'm begging you... please wash your hands!!!
I left work early last Wednesday(at 3pm) because the sitter called, "LuLu's throwing up." So, I go pick her up and the first thing she says is "where's daddy?" (I love you too, Sweetie) Hubby came home early because I needed to go to sleep so that I could work that night and stay home with Lu the next day. While he was home he started feeling bad.
Early Friday morning around 3am, Punk texted me let me know that his stomach hurt and was growling. I told him to go prepare his bathroom, just in case. You know make sure there was toliet paper, wipes... and he may want to make a bed in the hall. (Since LuLu and Hubby are both piled up in the livingroom near the half bath) About 30 minutes later he text me that he'd just thrown up 8 times. So, it was official everyone's sick.
I was hoping that I'd made it through the thick of the sickness without any problems. And then came Monday.
I went out on the paper route, didn't feel very different.. one of Hubby's friends called me and we talked for most of the time that I was on the route. When I got home I was a little wired so I worked on a puzzle that I'd started on the dining room table, then I went to take a shower. That's when I got sick. The heat in the shower.. I thought I was gonna pass out.. no matter what I did to the temp of the water.. UGH! I got out laid down for a bit.. and went to work. By noon I knew I wasn't gonna make it the rest of the day. And by 4pm I was on the way home. I won't go into details but I will say that my stomach was rolling and it wasn't from the baby. When I got home, Hubs told me he'd also gotten sick, very sick. So, he and I have spent the last two days sick as dogs. I have been on the couch in the livingroom and Hubs has been in the masterbed room sleeping in the floor near the bathroom.
I'm begging you... please wash your hands!!!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Yesterday a coworker I'd seen but not met passed me as I walked to my desk. She said, "Oh, When are you due?"
Yes apparently it is now that obivious that I'm pregnant and it should be I'm 6 months along.
I said "May 1st"
Her immediate response was "OMG! YOU'RE HUGE!!!"
I was stunned, for several reasons.. ( I couldn't believe a grown woman would say something like that, out loud, to my face, and IMO without thinking, Not to mention that I just started wearing maturnity clothes on Monday and I've only gained 6 lbs from my previous non pregnant weight! ) so, I wasn't able to quip her like I normally would.
My retort was a calmly spoken "wow, that's great, thanks!"
Yes apparently it is now that obivious that I'm pregnant and it should be I'm 6 months along.
I said "May 1st"
Her immediate response was "OMG! YOU'RE HUGE!!!"
I was stunned, for several reasons.. ( I couldn't believe a grown woman would say something like that, out loud, to my face, and IMO without thinking, Not to mention that I just started wearing maturnity clothes on Monday and I've only gained 6 lbs from my previous non pregnant weight! ) so, I wasn't able to quip her like I normally would.
My retort was a calmly spoken "wow, that's great, thanks!"
Last night I thought about what she'd said and what I could've said (yes, I'm one of THOSE people)
here's what I've thought of so far... feel free to add your own.
1. Really? That's what you're going with?
2. I'll give you a moment to rethink your response.
3. I'm sorry, I'm only accepting compliments today...
4. Let me guess, that foot could use a little more tabasco, right?
5. That reminds me I want to borrow some of your clothes.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Cry, Cry Baby!
Last night I had a <<>> breakdown. let me try to explain..
I really need to get in the bed much earlier than I do, but it never seems to go that way. There's always things for me to get done, or I want to spend a little more awake time with the kids.. or something.
Anyway last night I'm sitting in the floor in the bedroom (because the laptop lost a driver and we have to keep it plugged up, major pain!) I'm balancing the checkbook or doing whatever it was.. LuLu and Punk start their little picking with one another.. "he's in my way", "I didn't even touch her".. yadda yadda - you probably know the drill... (What gets to me is they're nearly 10 years apart and still have these little tifs...)
I give up and decide that the only way I'm going to get anything done is to try to do it at work on my lunch break. I beg Punk for the 10th time, to go brush his teeth and go to bed, "It's after 9pm and you should've been in the bed a half hour ago... and you have exams tomorrow... please!!!" LuLu starts doing her own thing, she literally hugged me when she asked me if she could go lay her clothes out for the morning and I said yes. "oh, thank you Mommy! That makes me so happy!!"
I make my way to the bathroom and sit down. A few seconds later, I see Punk come in my room, walk toward the bathroom and look at me through the full length mirror that is right outside the door. I've caught him doing this a few times in the last week. He doesn't announce his presence, he just comes right over...
Once again I tried to explain to him that I'd really rather he not see me on the toilet. (I can't imagine that being anyone's goal at this point) He didn't seem to understand the concept. I tried again. Do you want me in your bathroom when you're on the toilet? In the shower? I didn't think so. Please, the next time that you come to my bedroom door and you don't see me... please don't walk any farther, please say my name and I will answer and tell you where I am.. or I'll say just a minute. but please don't come into my bathroom without letting me know.
It hurt my feelings that I had to explain that to him. That I had to say... I don't want you to see me... and I started crying. Then LuLu, who sleeps with me when her daddy isn't home, starts asking a bunch of questions and going on and on. But that upset me because I couldn't just be upset, by myself, without having to explain why in minute detail. So, I cried harder.
Then I started feeling guilty because I became upset that I actually wanted to be alone. And that hurt my feelings even more.
I'm going to hope that all of this was just hormones and not something I can hope to have reoccur.
I really need to get in the bed much earlier than I do, but it never seems to go that way. There's always things for me to get done, or I want to spend a little more awake time with the kids.. or something.
Anyway last night I'm sitting in the floor in the bedroom (because the laptop lost a driver and we have to keep it plugged up, major pain!) I'm balancing the checkbook or doing whatever it was.. LuLu and Punk start their little picking with one another.. "he's in my way", "I didn't even touch her".. yadda yadda - you probably know the drill... (What gets to me is they're nearly 10 years apart and still have these little tifs...)
I give up and decide that the only way I'm going to get anything done is to try to do it at work on my lunch break. I beg Punk for the 10th time, to go brush his teeth and go to bed, "It's after 9pm and you should've been in the bed a half hour ago... and you have exams tomorrow... please!!!" LuLu starts doing her own thing, she literally hugged me when she asked me if she could go lay her clothes out for the morning and I said yes. "oh, thank you Mommy! That makes me so happy!!"
I make my way to the bathroom and sit down. A few seconds later, I see Punk come in my room, walk toward the bathroom and look at me through the full length mirror that is right outside the door. I've caught him doing this a few times in the last week. He doesn't announce his presence, he just comes right over...
Once again I tried to explain to him that I'd really rather he not see me on the toilet. (I can't imagine that being anyone's goal at this point) He didn't seem to understand the concept. I tried again. Do you want me in your bathroom when you're on the toilet? In the shower? I didn't think so. Please, the next time that you come to my bedroom door and you don't see me... please don't walk any farther, please say my name and I will answer and tell you where I am.. or I'll say just a minute. but please don't come into my bathroom without letting me know.
It hurt my feelings that I had to explain that to him. That I had to say... I don't want you to see me... and I started crying. Then LuLu, who sleeps with me when her daddy isn't home, starts asking a bunch of questions and going on and on. But that upset me because I couldn't just be upset, by myself, without having to explain why in minute detail. So, I cried harder.
Then I started feeling guilty because I became upset that I actually wanted to be alone. And that hurt my feelings even more.
I'm going to hope that all of this was just hormones and not something I can hope to have reoccur.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Should I stay or should I go now
20 more days left in my 60 day temporary contract at work. Then what will I be doing. Some days I could tell you that I want to continue to work. Other days... I really want to stay home, raise my kids, clean my house, grow a garden, can my veggies... I'm so torn.
I know it may not sound like a big decision to some people. But if you were truly given the option what would you do? There are so many things to consider. So many things to worry about.
They've talked about offering me additional time to work, with the intention that when I don't want to work anymore I just put in a two weeks notice and go home. They say at that point my severance package would kick in and it would be as they has planned it being back in November. Sounds a little too good to be true, coming from the same company who literally laid us off one day and asked us back the next.
With the baby due May 1st, The option of working an additional 60 days is a little tempting and also not. It'd be nice to work until the baby comes because that's what I've always done. But it'd also be nice to get the house in order and catch up on some sleep. Since I started working two jobs back last March my housekeeping and sleep have both gone downhill.
It won't be as though I've completely stopped working... I'll keep one job. The paper route seems like the obivious choice for right now. I don't need a sitter for that job, since Hubs is home when I'm doing the route. So that saves roughly $600 a month.
I'm babbling.. sorry. I'm just confused, it's so much easier making descisions that don't effect a family of five.
I know it may not sound like a big decision to some people. But if you were truly given the option what would you do? There are so many things to consider. So many things to worry about.
They've talked about offering me additional time to work, with the intention that when I don't want to work anymore I just put in a two weeks notice and go home. They say at that point my severance package would kick in and it would be as they has planned it being back in November. Sounds a little too good to be true, coming from the same company who literally laid us off one day and asked us back the next.
With the baby due May 1st, The option of working an additional 60 days is a little tempting and also not. It'd be nice to work until the baby comes because that's what I've always done. But it'd also be nice to get the house in order and catch up on some sleep. Since I started working two jobs back last March my housekeeping and sleep have both gone downhill.
It won't be as though I've completely stopped working... I'll keep one job. The paper route seems like the obivious choice for right now. I don't need a sitter for that job, since Hubs is home when I'm doing the route. So that saves roughly $600 a month.
I'm babbling.. sorry. I'm just confused, it's so much easier making descisions that don't effect a family of five.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Petty, but not Richard Petty
Sunday, my ex called at around 2PM.
"Do you want to meet me in _______, since I had to come all the way to your house to pick up Punk for the weekend?'
Now let me tell you for the last seven years I have done my level best to make sure that Punk is with his dad whenever he wants to be. Even though the divorce agreement says every other weekend and half the major holidays beginning at 6pm on certain days. (Christmas eve, for one)
The 18th was my birthday, on a Friday - He orgianlly wanted Punk on that day, but because it was my birthday he was willing to let go til the following day. The 18th was also the same day we had a HUGE snow, 20 inches - here that's alot. Friday goes by, Saturday goes by, Sunday the 20th Punk's dad has decided I should be able to get out by now and he wants to meet me to pick up Punk. Our meeting place is just off the interstate at roughly 40 miles in between the two houses. I try to explain to him I have a horrible sinus infection, the state police has asked people to stay off the roads, and ask if he can wait until the roads are a little clearer and I'd be glad to bring him. He counters with.. well Monday is bad for me, and Tuesday is probably out too... this doesn't sit well with him.. he hangs up with me.. and calls Punk on Punk's cell phone.. then I get a call back about 20 minutes after they hang up. "Tell Punk, I'm coming to pick him up. I just come down and get him."
The entire trip takes an hour and 15 minutes in good weather and steady traffic. It took him a little over double.
Punk is 13, but even at 13, Christmas still means something, even if it's just "What did I get from..." Well, he didn't get to have a Christmas with us until January 3rd. He didn't go to my husband's parent's home for Christmas - we brought his gifts back home to him. (this happens every year, He rarely sees them, cause we go on the weekends and he is normally with his dad) They treat him like he's one of their grandchildren so it hurts them when he doesn't come too.
But the statement from my ex.. made me realize that sometimes... people really don't change... It boiled down to meeting him 20 miles closer to his side of the 'line', I suppose he felt as though I was "paying him back" for the gas it took to get him to my side of the line. When in reality, it wasn't truly his day to have him, and to be honest.. he could've waited another couple of days. No, because he's now spoiled. He gets Punk when he wants him. Early, late, not at all, traded weekends, you name it. I wonder though... if the shoe were on the other foot. If Punk decided to move to his dad's, would I get the same "extra time" that he's gotten all these years?
My gut says... no, after it pee's itself laughing.
"Do you want to meet me in _______, since I had to come all the way to your house to pick up Punk for the weekend?'
Now let me tell you for the last seven years I have done my level best to make sure that Punk is with his dad whenever he wants to be. Even though the divorce agreement says every other weekend and half the major holidays beginning at 6pm on certain days. (Christmas eve, for one)
The 18th was my birthday, on a Friday - He orgianlly wanted Punk on that day, but because it was my birthday he was willing to let go til the following day. The 18th was also the same day we had a HUGE snow, 20 inches - here that's alot. Friday goes by, Saturday goes by, Sunday the 20th Punk's dad has decided I should be able to get out by now and he wants to meet me to pick up Punk. Our meeting place is just off the interstate at roughly 40 miles in between the two houses. I try to explain to him I have a horrible sinus infection, the state police has asked people to stay off the roads, and ask if he can wait until the roads are a little clearer and I'd be glad to bring him. He counters with.. well Monday is bad for me, and Tuesday is probably out too... this doesn't sit well with him.. he hangs up with me.. and calls Punk on Punk's cell phone.. then I get a call back about 20 minutes after they hang up. "Tell Punk, I'm coming to pick him up. I just come down and get him."
The entire trip takes an hour and 15 minutes in good weather and steady traffic. It took him a little over double.
Punk is 13, but even at 13, Christmas still means something, even if it's just "What did I get from..." Well, he didn't get to have a Christmas with us until January 3rd. He didn't go to my husband's parent's home for Christmas - we brought his gifts back home to him. (this happens every year, He rarely sees them, cause we go on the weekends and he is normally with his dad) They treat him like he's one of their grandchildren so it hurts them when he doesn't come too.
But the statement from my ex.. made me realize that sometimes... people really don't change... It boiled down to meeting him 20 miles closer to his side of the 'line', I suppose he felt as though I was "paying him back" for the gas it took to get him to my side of the line. When in reality, it wasn't truly his day to have him, and to be honest.. he could've waited another couple of days. No, because he's now spoiled. He gets Punk when he wants him. Early, late, not at all, traded weekends, you name it. I wonder though... if the shoe were on the other foot. If Punk decided to move to his dad's, would I get the same "extra time" that he's gotten all these years?
My gut says... no, after it pee's itself laughing.
Ever happen to you??
I just jumped straight up out of bed! Looked at my cell phone, which I use for an alarm clock. 5:12
Wait a minute, 5:12... AM? Seriously? why didn't my alarm go off at 1AM (or 1:30AM, I have back to back alarms set because sometimes I have a hard time hearing the alarm and getting up)
I get up RUN to the bathroom, Pee, I thinking ... "Holy Cow, Hubs must be downstairs knocked out asleep" (he has a horrible sinus infection and usually when he comes home he will come talk with me while I dress to leave or we'll talk downstairs if he's late getting home from work) "How on earth am I gonna deliver 2 and 1/2 hours worth of newspapers and be done before 6:30???" "I am soooo screwed!!"
Done with the restroom, I find all the warm clothes I have laid out.. I dress in layers because it's like 12 degrees outside and I have to ride with my window down or cracked 90% of the route. Throw my clothes on run back over to my nightstand to get my phone and glasses... pass the tv on the way (clock on top...focusing on it... focus, focus) clock says 12:48! 12:48AM HUH? well what does the phone say again? Oh... Jan 5 12:48AM
Nice! I've just scared myself half-to-death, good grief!!!
Hate when that happens!
Wait a minute, 5:12... AM? Seriously? why didn't my alarm go off at 1AM (or 1:30AM, I have back to back alarms set because sometimes I have a hard time hearing the alarm and getting up)
I get up RUN to the bathroom, Pee, I thinking ... "Holy Cow, Hubs must be downstairs knocked out asleep" (he has a horrible sinus infection and usually when he comes home he will come talk with me while I dress to leave or we'll talk downstairs if he's late getting home from work) "How on earth am I gonna deliver 2 and 1/2 hours worth of newspapers and be done before 6:30???" "I am soooo screwed!!"
Done with the restroom, I find all the warm clothes I have laid out.. I dress in layers because it's like 12 degrees outside and I have to ride with my window down or cracked 90% of the route. Throw my clothes on run back over to my nightstand to get my phone and glasses... pass the tv on the way (clock on top...focusing on it... focus, focus) clock says 12:48! 12:48AM HUH? well what does the phone say again? Oh... Jan 5 12:48AM
Nice! I've just scared myself half-to-death, good grief!!!
Hate when that happens!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Hindsight's 20/20
a few years ago my dad lost his job... "move down here, there are jobs here... come stay with us..." I offered, it was the least I felt I could do. We had a good relationship, he and Hubs got along (drinking buddies, in fact) and there would be someone at home with me because his schedule was the same as mine and my schedule has always been the opposite of Hubs' schedule.
Fast forward through the next two years. Dad stayed with us for the first year. Never paid a penny for rent or utilities, I never asked him too. He held multiple jobs. None of them were quite what he wanted. He would stay most evenings with his ex-girlfriend and their daughter, until the daughter would go to bed, then he'd come here to sleep. Until he stopped staying here, he would come pick up a few of his clothes and go spend a few weeks with them. (They moved down when he did and live in a neighboring town) Then he stopped coming over all together, stopped calling. He got a job that included training that would keep him away for several months. He finished the training, got certified, and quit.
In September 2009 I found out that I am pregnant. He hasn't been here in almost two years. The room that he slept in still holds all his stuff, ie bed, dresser, clothes, tv, movies...
In October 2009, I call him, Dad - I just found out I'm pregnant, we're gonna be needing the bedroom that your things are in for the baby. Do you think you could come get it? Sure, no problem.
Almost a month goes by before I hear from him again. He texted me... Do you think I could come stay with you? Until I can find a job back home? My dreaded reply.. Sure, are you working now? He apparently was working, but didn't know how long it would last and said he wanted to find work where we are originally from. He comes home that Sunday, bringing things to prepare his lunch with for the week.
The next two months would be interesting... During the week, He would come home after my kids and I had gone to bed. And on the weekend, he wouldn't come home until Sunday around 8PM.
He has habits that I don't approve of... one of them being he smokes. But I don't mention anything to him about it, except for the request that he do that outside and never in the house. On the other hand, my kids have mentioned it to him or said something in passing. The 13 year old has really only said something to me... smoking really bothers his asthma. But the four year old, well, you know how four year olds can be... "Paw Paw, cigarettes is nasty!" and things like that to him. And mostly questions like "Why do Paw Paw's smoke?" to me. (Both her Paw Paw's smoke) Now as I've told friends with these questions, I'm not going to beg her not to smoke, tell her it's nasty and then turn around and reprimand her for telling him that. I believe that would be couterproductive on my part.
December 2009. He text me on the 18th after he'd left home for the day. Not sure at this point if he'd been working or not. "Have a good doctor's appointment, Happy Birthday" (He found out about the dr appt from Facebook, he's on my friends list) After the 18th I didn't hear anything from him...until January 1st at 3:30pm.. he texted me "Happy New Year, I love ya" and nothing since.
It's been a little upsetting, it's been strange, it's even been mind boggling... but I really don't know what to think of him... and I feel that my family and I have been used. And I really hate that it was by my own dad.
Fast forward through the next two years. Dad stayed with us for the first year. Never paid a penny for rent or utilities, I never asked him too. He held multiple jobs. None of them were quite what he wanted. He would stay most evenings with his ex-girlfriend and their daughter, until the daughter would go to bed, then he'd come here to sleep. Until he stopped staying here, he would come pick up a few of his clothes and go spend a few weeks with them. (They moved down when he did and live in a neighboring town) Then he stopped coming over all together, stopped calling. He got a job that included training that would keep him away for several months. He finished the training, got certified, and quit.
In September 2009 I found out that I am pregnant. He hasn't been here in almost two years. The room that he slept in still holds all his stuff, ie bed, dresser, clothes, tv, movies...
In October 2009, I call him, Dad - I just found out I'm pregnant, we're gonna be needing the bedroom that your things are in for the baby. Do you think you could come get it? Sure, no problem.
Almost a month goes by before I hear from him again. He texted me... Do you think I could come stay with you? Until I can find a job back home? My dreaded reply.. Sure, are you working now? He apparently was working, but didn't know how long it would last and said he wanted to find work where we are originally from. He comes home that Sunday, bringing things to prepare his lunch with for the week.
The next two months would be interesting... During the week, He would come home after my kids and I had gone to bed. And on the weekend, he wouldn't come home until Sunday around 8PM.
He has habits that I don't approve of... one of them being he smokes. But I don't mention anything to him about it, except for the request that he do that outside and never in the house. On the other hand, my kids have mentioned it to him or said something in passing. The 13 year old has really only said something to me... smoking really bothers his asthma. But the four year old, well, you know how four year olds can be... "Paw Paw, cigarettes is nasty!" and things like that to him. And mostly questions like "Why do Paw Paw's smoke?" to me. (Both her Paw Paw's smoke) Now as I've told friends with these questions, I'm not going to beg her not to smoke, tell her it's nasty and then turn around and reprimand her for telling him that. I believe that would be couterproductive on my part.
December 2009. He text me on the 18th after he'd left home for the day. Not sure at this point if he'd been working or not. "Have a good doctor's appointment, Happy Birthday" (He found out about the dr appt from Facebook, he's on my friends list) After the 18th I didn't hear anything from him...until January 1st at 3:30pm.. he texted me "Happy New Year, I love ya" and nothing since.
It's been a little upsetting, it's been strange, it's even been mind boggling... but I really don't know what to think of him... and I feel that my family and I have been used. And I really hate that it was by my own dad.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A new year... a new me?!
I have aspirations of what I'd like to accomplish this year. And hopes for a "more together" family. Especially with me becoming a stay-at-home mom in the next month or so.. More details to come on that (because to me it still seems a little like a pipe dream.
Since my daughter was born my home making skills have taken a back seat to raising her, occasional sickness, and working two jobs. Time flies when you only have two hours a day to clean.. stuff starts piling up and pretty soon. Well, let's just say I'm not the nicest person to live with if I see too much clutter. (even if it's my own)
I always say I'm going to write more here... and I hope to.. but as you know things catch up with you. Time gets shorter and before I know it.. there's not enough time to sit down and pull thoughts out of my head to put down. (Or they're thoughts that I could quite possibly regret and therefore.. have a bowl of ice cream instead of sharing them with you)
Since my daughter was born my home making skills have taken a back seat to raising her, occasional sickness, and working two jobs. Time flies when you only have two hours a day to clean.. stuff starts piling up and pretty soon. Well, let's just say I'm not the nicest person to live with if I see too much clutter. (even if it's my own)
I always say I'm going to write more here... and I hope to.. but as you know things catch up with you. Time gets shorter and before I know it.. there's not enough time to sit down and pull thoughts out of my head to put down. (Or they're thoughts that I could quite possibly regret and therefore.. have a bowl of ice cream instead of sharing them with you)
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Last night it happened again. On my way to take Punk to stay with his dad and stepmom for the weekend, LuLu notice what street we were on and said "that's the street to go to my school" Which began a conversation about how she wouldn't be in the same school as Punk at the same time but he had gone to those schools. And how one day she'd go to the school he's going to go to next year. To which Punk replied "What if I don't go to that school next year? What if I go live with my dad?"
Now from what I understand this is a statement or a conversation that happens alot with Punk's dad and possibly stepmom. But not so much here. When he mentions it here, it's mostly out of the blue like this time and I feel like I've been missing something. I mean, how does he get to this conclusion. I know I couldn't wait to leave home when I was his age.. but I didn't have a parent in another home.. I only had me and graduation. (can't say "wait til you graduate to him" everything I say goes in one ear and out his mouth to his dad... and usually Punk's translations leave something to be desired)
So, what I'm left with is.... Punk won't talk to me about his feelings and why he want's to move. I mean I'm no dummy I understand his need for his dad but then he tells me that he loves his stepdad (Hubs) just as much as his dad.
I'm going to be a SAHM soon (so I'll be home more for him and my other children) I've pointed out all the reasons that he could/should/(please don't go)stay. School's are better, More opportunities, Friends are here, he won't have to start over, I'll be able to help more, get to know him more, be there more... I know this probably isn't about me... personally. It could be more of a teenage "I can't stand my parents", "If I lived with my dad things would be different" thing. But I can't help but scream on the inside... WAIT! STOP! you're my baby! I need to have you where I know what's going on... where I can make sure you're okay... where I can protect you... where I can watch you grow, and do homework, and make sure the school is doing what it's supposed to for you and see you, and hear you... PLEASE!!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!
So do I bolt the doors and windows? Or watch my first baby bird fly... at 13...
Now from what I understand this is a statement or a conversation that happens alot with Punk's dad and possibly stepmom. But not so much here. When he mentions it here, it's mostly out of the blue like this time and I feel like I've been missing something. I mean, how does he get to this conclusion. I know I couldn't wait to leave home when I was his age.. but I didn't have a parent in another home.. I only had me and graduation. (can't say "wait til you graduate to him" everything I say goes in one ear and out his mouth to his dad... and usually Punk's translations leave something to be desired)
So, what I'm left with is.... Punk won't talk to me about his feelings and why he want's to move. I mean I'm no dummy I understand his need for his dad but then he tells me that he loves his stepdad (Hubs) just as much as his dad.
I'm going to be a SAHM soon (so I'll be home more for him and my other children) I've pointed out all the reasons that he could/should/(please don't go)stay. School's are better, More opportunities, Friends are here, he won't have to start over, I'll be able to help more, get to know him more, be there more... I know this probably isn't about me... personally. It could be more of a teenage "I can't stand my parents", "If I lived with my dad things would be different" thing. But I can't help but scream on the inside... WAIT! STOP! you're my baby! I need to have you where I know what's going on... where I can make sure you're okay... where I can protect you... where I can watch you grow, and do homework, and make sure the school is doing what it's supposed to for you and see you, and hear you... PLEASE!!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!
So do I bolt the doors and windows? Or watch my first baby bird fly... at 13...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
New job, new duties...
I began training on Monday for the temporary position that I accepted. I went in on Monday to find out that I would be proof reading loan documents that are being prepared for subordination. Can anyone say B-O-R-I-N-G!!! On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday combined, I may have actually worked for a total of 7 hours - including lunch on all three days! I also found out that we don't have access to computers, we're not allowed to bring in books, radios or any other distractions. But in the case where there's nothing to be distracted from... I ask you.... seriously??
Today, I trained on a different task and actually worked all day. It was very different and very good. I trained to key the documents that I'd been proof reading the three days before.
Today, I trained on a different task and actually worked all day. It was very different and very good. I trained to key the documents that I'd been proof reading the three days before.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Take the Journey 2010 - Reading Challenge
Joyful over at New Horizon Reviews posted this challenge from another blogger, I'm joining if you're interested the directions are included at the end of the post.
Thanks Joyful!!
TAKE THE JOURNEY 2010 Reading Challenge
A. Challenge ends on December 15, 2010. Your goal is to accumulate as many points as you can during 2010. Best of success to everyone. I can't wait to begin. All points must be accrued from Jan 1 - Dec 15, 2010.
1. Read 40 or more books by new authors you’ve never read before. (Each book read =4 points)2. Read 20 or more books by some of your favorite authors. (Each book read = 2 points)3. Read 3. or more new genres you’ve never tried before. (Each genre = 2 points)
4. Post 12 or more reviews at any site of your choice. (Each review posted = 3 points)
5. Give 1 or more books as gifts during the year. (Each book gift = 2 points)
6. Read 1 or more books to a child (Each book read = 3 points)
7. Read something to an older person, or anyone whose eyesight prevents them from reading for themselves.(Each reading session = 3 Points)
8. Share this reading challenge with a friend. (Each friend that joins the challenge = 3 points)
9. Attend a book event, such as a book signing, book fair, book reading, etc. (Each event = 5 points)
B. Additional Points
1. 30 Points – Become a follower of Between The Pages blog
2. 5 Points – For each month you post your point total updates in our Take The Journey group at Book Blogs.
3. 30 Points – For adding our Take The Journey badge to your blog or website.Please sign up at Between The Pages
Thanks Joyful!!
TAKE THE JOURNEY 2010 Reading Challenge
A. Challenge ends on December 15, 2010. Your goal is to accumulate as many points as you can during 2010. Best of success to everyone. I can't wait to begin. All points must be accrued from Jan 1 - Dec 15, 2010.
1. Read 40 or more books by new authors you’ve never read before. (Each book read =4 points)2. Read 20 or more books by some of your favorite authors. (Each book read = 2 points)3. Read 3. or more new genres you’ve never tried before. (Each genre = 2 points)
4. Post 12 or more reviews at any site of your choice. (Each review posted = 3 points)
5. Give 1 or more books as gifts during the year. (Each book gift = 2 points)
6. Read 1 or more books to a child (Each book read = 3 points)
7. Read something to an older person, or anyone whose eyesight prevents them from reading for themselves.(Each reading session = 3 Points)
8. Share this reading challenge with a friend. (Each friend that joins the challenge = 3 points)
9. Attend a book event, such as a book signing, book fair, book reading, etc. (Each event = 5 points)
B. Additional Points
1. 30 Points – Become a follower of Between The Pages blog
2. 5 Points – For each month you post your point total updates in our Take The Journey group at Book Blogs.
3. 30 Points – For adding our Take The Journey badge to your blog or website.Please sign up at Between The Pages
Friday, December 4, 2009
Punk asked me yesterday, via text message from school, if he could go to a dance after school today. We'd basically not had any problems so I said sure. His dances are usually no problem since they begin directly after school is over and you just go pick up your kid at 5PM. So, no running back and forth to home and school - easy peasy.
Last night he asked me for $4 for the ticket, oh "and can I have a $5 more for food?" I stopped at the ATM on the way home and got a $20 (the smallest bill that will come out of our ATMs) and gave it to him. Remembering that he only needed $9, I asked him to bring me the change after the dance.
When I went to pick him up, he handed me $5. The rest of the conversation went something like this...
"Where's the rest of the money"
"Huh, What money?"
"The rest of the money that you were supposed to have for change. I gave you a $20, you needed $9, there's supposed to be at least $10 in change here. And you just gave me a $5."
"Uh, I don't know"
"What do you mean you don't know, did you count the money you were given back?"
" uh, I guess so"
"Write down everything you bought and how much it cost"
So he proceeds to write down the ticket, two slices of pizza, a bag of chips and a drink - it came to $8.50.
"So, where is the rest of the money?'
"Huh, Mom I don't understand what you mean... "
"What you wrote down totals $8.50, right? You just gave me $5, right? What is 8 +5?"
"13"
"Yes, so we've accounted for $13.50 of $20, right? Where is the rest of the $20?"
"Oh! I don't know."
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yea, No I mean No... I didn't"
like 15 minutes later at home... he's gathered $5 worth of change from what he says was his room, but only after I told him if he couldn't tell me where the money went that he owed me $5 and he would no longer go to the dances. Then I tried to go over the totals with him again.
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yes, I bought someone a drink."
"Why didn't you write it down?"
"Because you said to write down what I bought. And I didn't buy it, I just gave them the dollar and they bought it"
Seriously, just between me and you... when I have these conversations with my extremely intelligent 13yo (who refuses to apply himself, even with temptations of love or money) I can literally here my brain stop and say... "Wait, What did he just say?" It's like my whole body pauses... to say... "can you say that again"
I love him with my entire being.. not divided by several others but the whole thing.. without my kids and my Hubs I ain't nothing... But I can literally have a conversation with my 4yo better, easier... than I can have the same conversation with my 13 yo.
Is it boys vs girls? Is it boy vs mom? Is it teenager vs stupid authority figure? Is it ADHD vs non-ADHD?
There's so much I want to teach him.. but we can't seem to get any of it broken down into parts that he will retain or for that matter wants to hear. So... do I give up? Let him find his own way with no guidance what so ever? I don't think that's the kind of mother I am... at least not for my 4yo... but he's almost demanding it.
Last night he asked me for $4 for the ticket, oh "and can I have a $5 more for food?" I stopped at the ATM on the way home and got a $20 (the smallest bill that will come out of our ATMs) and gave it to him. Remembering that he only needed $9, I asked him to bring me the change after the dance.
When I went to pick him up, he handed me $5. The rest of the conversation went something like this...
"Where's the rest of the money"
"Huh, What money?"
"The rest of the money that you were supposed to have for change. I gave you a $20, you needed $9, there's supposed to be at least $10 in change here. And you just gave me a $5."
"Uh, I don't know"
"What do you mean you don't know, did you count the money you were given back?"
" uh, I guess so"
"Write down everything you bought and how much it cost"
So he proceeds to write down the ticket, two slices of pizza, a bag of chips and a drink - it came to $8.50.
"So, where is the rest of the money?'
"Huh, Mom I don't understand what you mean... "
"What you wrote down totals $8.50, right? You just gave me $5, right? What is 8 +5?"
"13"
"Yes, so we've accounted for $13.50 of $20, right? Where is the rest of the $20?"
"Oh! I don't know."
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yea, No I mean No... I didn't"
like 15 minutes later at home... he's gathered $5 worth of change from what he says was his room, but only after I told him if he couldn't tell me where the money went that he owed me $5 and he would no longer go to the dances. Then I tried to go over the totals with him again.
"Did you buy anything for anyone else?"
"Yes, I bought someone a drink."
"Why didn't you write it down?"
"Because you said to write down what I bought. And I didn't buy it, I just gave them the dollar and they bought it"
Seriously, just between me and you... when I have these conversations with my extremely intelligent 13yo (who refuses to apply himself, even with temptations of love or money) I can literally here my brain stop and say... "Wait, What did he just say?" It's like my whole body pauses... to say... "can you say that again"
I love him with my entire being.. not divided by several others but the whole thing.. without my kids and my Hubs I ain't nothing... But I can literally have a conversation with my 4yo better, easier... than I can have the same conversation with my 13 yo.
Is it boys vs girls? Is it boy vs mom? Is it teenager vs stupid authority figure? Is it ADHD vs non-ADHD?
There's so much I want to teach him.. but we can't seem to get any of it broken down into parts that he will retain or for that matter wants to hear. So... do I give up? Let him find his own way with no guidance what so ever? I don't think that's the kind of mother I am... at least not for my 4yo... but he's almost demanding it.
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