It's been difficult for me to post anything to my blog. I don't have access from work anymore, because our computer time is logged including emails. So that's out. And well, as I've said before.. I really don't have time to do anything at home and I'm trying to squeeze in time to clean.
I'm not used to not having time to clean. I'd had everything down to a science before I got the second job. Well, before I had LuLu anyway...
It's amazing how stressed I get over work, money, lack of time, etc. It's just as amazing how much better cleaning my home makes me feel. Weird, huh?!
Punk is coming back in a week! I can't wait! I've missed him so badly. It'll be nice just to have him where I can see him again. His birthday is Saturday. He'll be 13. I asked him what he'd like for his birthday and he couldn't name anything. So, I've been thinking of getting something. There's one thing that I had in mind. Well, at least one thing that's not incredibly expensive... but we'll have to see how it goes.
My first job is still up in the air... from what people are saying -- we won't really know for sure that we actually have a job until well after January.
Also, I'm trying to come up with a way to show Punk about earning money and paying bills Without using my actual money or bills.
Well, it's 9pm and I have to be up at 1:45AM...

V trained me for the new route all last week. I want to tell you first and foremost... I love this chick. I won't go into too many details I know that that's totally unlike me but I know you'll forgive me. Surprising all the discussions complete strangers can get into in a car for 3 to 4 hours at 3AM. Such as... kids (take 'em or leave'em), husbands (same), previous jobs, previous lovers... we even talked about how nice it would be to have a wife.

I personally would love to have a wife. I know, I know for you diehards... that's what my husband is for... but sit back and think... much as you love him... does he do absolutely everything for you... that you do for him... sickness and health... can you share everything with him... when was the last time he took off to take care of you while you were sick? when was the last time you both had a spa day together? Now I'm not bashing men, least of all mine because he's done all these things and so much more.. especially since I now have two jobs...

Anyway, you know me... back to my story.. V and I are driving down this road wearing pajamas (I know lucky me,right!), putting papers in boxes, discussing life in general. We get to a box that was on vacation the week before she puts a paper in the box and begins to scream her head off. I look around for some sort of murdering idiot only to find that a bird has flown from inside the box into her Blazer. We both hop out and open all the doors. It finally flies away but not before it gave us its birdy lecture about waking it at 3:30AM and that we were not to disturb her eggs under any circumstances. Next night, nothing... in fact for two nights nothing... she must've hauled her eggs to a sitter and went to the Rockin' Robin for a little R&R before the babes are born. (... and who can blame her, one's enough let alone 3 or 4 hungry mouths, good grief!) But, low and behold, Saturday morning... Punk and I were out, my first night without my chaperone and he with only me for protection... I used my flashlight to see what there was to see... nothing... then I pulled up a little closer.. hoping I had the right angle and she wouldn't fly in if she was there. Still nothing, I slid the paper in nice and easy... didn't even put it all the way in the box. The BIRD is back... dun! dun! dun! Flew in the car... squawkin' I did the best I could not to scream... instead made some sort of muffled ew! ew! ew! noise. Punk, luckily was asleep but woke up after she'd flown out. Yea...just try to shew a bird out of your car... not sure what kinda she was but for our purposes let's go with wren. Either way... I wasn't very persuasive at first.. then just started talking to her.. and she apparently decided that people who beg wild birds to leave their car aren't that exciting and she left.
I called the owner of the box, sweet older couple. Introduced myself as the new carrier and mentioned the bird. They knew about the bird. Said that her husband had cleaned out the box last year and a new nest was build this year. I told her about the bird in the car and that I hoped they hadn't heard me. I asked if it would be okay if I threw the paper (in a bag) in their driveway. She said that would be fine and then after the babies are finished with the nest we plan on putting a "flap" on the entrance of the paperbox. (think the hole punch game on the Price is Right) It's normally used to keep people from stealing the paper but it will also keep birds from making nests in the box.
ps. door to door my new route is 70 miles. I doubled my subscriber amount and pay as well. We took the passenger seat out of my little car. Put in my XM Radio. Put deer whistles on the the front (LOTS of deer on my route). I recycle any papers that are left over after a week. not sure if' I've mentioned it before but if you don't already know, here Carriers buy their own supplies... meaning rubberbands and bags. To me, they should be supplied by the paper. Just another way I think I'm a little more OCD than other people. I have to rubberband the papers. They look better, easier to handle, and it keeps me busy while I ride from box to box. As far as the bags, if it rains or snows or you name it.. it goes in a bag. As well as if there is a paper that I have to put on a porch, especially in the country, I don't want someone spilling their coffee or an animal pee'ing on the paper. I could get blamed for it and there are only so many complaints that can be called in on me before I get written up.

I am tired. I want to give up. Hubby's hours at work have cut back over 20 hours, needless to say the pay didn't stay the same. Bills are mounting. I've taken the 2nd job, but am only paid monthly - I know, I understand that it hasn't been a month yet but unless something changes with it... well let's just say it's not alot.. I mean sure it's only a few hours a day, I know I haven't been specific so here is a confession my 2nd job is a newspaper route(and I'll be the first one to tell you, I LOVE IT!), so I don't expect alot. But I'm trying to fill in the Grand Canyon here... UGH! weep.

I'm okay until I actually go to pay the bills... I just want to do something. He called someone that he'd talked to after his first wife took him to the cleaners. That guy wanted 6months worth of everything, (bills, bankstatements, you name it.) Yes we could have made different choices. But, We didn't, and now... well it's upsetting. I've never felt like this in my life.

Just thinking and crying.. thank you for listening.