I have a confession. I over eat. Not when I'm eating meals but when I'm eating snacks. Sugar is a weakness. What's worse... I try to hide it. I realized this yesterday after our daughter's birthday party. I made cupcakes and when we got home I'd eaten three before I realized that I'd even gotten any out of the platter. I get defensive when someone watches me eat or comes in the room that I was trying to "hide" in.
I'd really like to get in better shape, lose weight, eat better... I'm not going to make excuses about it except for to say that right now.. I'm just not trying and instead I'm putting other things/people ahead of myself (like I always do)
Showing posts with label confessions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confessions. Show all posts
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Too many Voices
Yesterday was our daughter's 5th birthday and of course Sunday was Father's day. So, instead of spending Sunday cleaning the house I decided to spend it with my husband and the girls. I probably shouldn't let that happen again, let me explain.
The party is scheduled for Saturday.. everyone that I can think of has been invited, Including my husband's parents. Yesterday at around 10AM we get a phone call. My husband's parents have decided that they're going to drive down to surprise Lulu on her birthday. Well, not only did that surprise her but it also caught me completely off guard. I haven't been spending every waking moment cleaning because I've been spending it catching up on sleep and getting used to having a new baby in our family. But, needless to say I get a little freaked out when I don't have things cleaned the way I think they should be. Then double that when unexpected company decides to show up. Feels more like a surprise inspection than a visit.
Usually when I feel this way it reminds me of conversations that my paternal grandmother would have with me. She would talk about how awful of a housewife my mother was. She would tell me that my mother had stolen quilts from her. We lived next door to her until I was 14 and at one point she showed me pictures that she'd taken of the rooms in our house while we weren't home. Mind you, this irritates me to no end. She actually took the time to go into our home, take pictures, and have them developed so that she could have something to be upset about (or "proof" that she had a "reason" to be upset). Not only that but she had the nerve to discuss MY mother with ME. How exactly was I supposed to feel about that? "Oh, thank you Grandmother, for showing me that no matter what I can count on you to sneak around behind our backs to pick to death what we are and aren't doing!!" "thank you for showing me that Mom doesn't clean to your standards (bi the way, what are your standards? cause you never showed me either)
I'm working on putting my grandmother's voice out of my head and instead building routines that will help me keep house the way I want to.
The party is scheduled for Saturday.. everyone that I can think of has been invited, Including my husband's parents. Yesterday at around 10AM we get a phone call. My husband's parents have decided that they're going to drive down to surprise Lulu on her birthday. Well, not only did that surprise her but it also caught me completely off guard. I haven't been spending every waking moment cleaning because I've been spending it catching up on sleep and getting used to having a new baby in our family. But, needless to say I get a little freaked out when I don't have things cleaned the way I think they should be. Then double that when unexpected company decides to show up. Feels more like a surprise inspection than a visit.
Usually when I feel this way it reminds me of conversations that my paternal grandmother would have with me. She would talk about how awful of a housewife my mother was. She would tell me that my mother had stolen quilts from her. We lived next door to her until I was 14 and at one point she showed me pictures that she'd taken of the rooms in our house while we weren't home. Mind you, this irritates me to no end. She actually took the time to go into our home, take pictures, and have them developed so that she could have something to be upset about (or "proof" that she had a "reason" to be upset). Not only that but she had the nerve to discuss MY mother with ME. How exactly was I supposed to feel about that? "Oh, thank you Grandmother, for showing me that no matter what I can count on you to sneak around behind our backs to pick to death what we are and aren't doing!!" "thank you for showing me that Mom doesn't clean to your standards (bi the way, what are your standards? cause you never showed me either)
I'm working on putting my grandmother's voice out of my head and instead building routines that will help me keep house the way I want to.
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